Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There is this cop who is running low on his quota for the month and decides to check out one of the rowdier bars in town to catch some drunks. So, he’s waiting outside when about closing time this guy walks out, staggering, and falls down on the sidewalk. The cop is thinking, “boy, he’s drunk, this will be a good arrest.” The drunk guy crawls to his car, fiddles with his keys for about 30 minutes until he finds…
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A man walks in the doctors with a carrot sticking out of his ear, spaggeti all over his hair, and corn flakes down his front. The doctor says you haven’t been eating properly have you?
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True Facts About Americans Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear. 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs). The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago…
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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1. We both work and you got the check last time. Let me get it. 2. I don’t need another pair of shoes. I have a closet full of them I don’t wear now. 3. Maybe this isn’t the right time time talk about this. Let’s talk later. 4. We always talk about how I feel. How do you feel? If you don’t know, that’s OK. 5. You’re right, I’m wrong. I’m sorry. 6. I’m sorry I made such a…
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Brenda McCarthy is home making dinner for her husband Patrick when Tim Finnegan knocks at her door. “May I come in, Brenda darlin’?” says Tim sadly, “I’ve somethin to tell ya.” “Of course, Tim, come in, but where’s Patrick?” she asks. “That’s what I’m here to be tellin ya, Brenda,” says Tim. “There was an accident down at the Guinness Brewery.” “Oh, God NO!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me…..” “I’m so sorry, darlin’” says Tim, his voice breaking, “Your…
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What does a sperm have in common with a lawyer? They both have a 1 in a million chance of becoming a human! Why should lawyers be buried 100 feet deep? Because deep down, they`re really good people. Why don`t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand. If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why shouldn`t you swerve and hit him? It might be your bicycle. Why did the lawyer cross the…
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Twas the night before crisis, And behind White House doors, Not a creature was stirring, Especially Al Gore. The interns were nestled, Dressed in their berets, In hopes that Saint Bubba Would come out to play. When on the East Lawn, There arose such a clatter, Even Sam Donaldson Lost control of his bladder. Away to our TVs We flew like a flash, There’s a special report, And it’s pre-empting M*A*S*H! And what to our wondering Eyes should appear, But…
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Father Brown was walking on the grounds of the convent when he noticed Sister Jane walking by. He thought, “Sister Jane seems to be heavier now.” So he called out to her, “Sister Jane, aren’t we gaining some weight?” “Oh, no, Father,” said Sister Jane. “Just a little gas. That’s all.” Two months later, Father Brown again noticed that Sister Jane seemed to be much larger than the last time he saw her. So he approached her and remarked, “Sister…
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102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
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