Ow Jokes - page 8

Me Ow!

Q: What is the difference between an old cat and a little kitty? A: An old cat will bite and scratch, but a little pussy never hurt anybody.

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Know Who?

A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor knew her reputation around town. He asked her, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of baked beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”

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beam me down

Pierre and Thibadox were workin on the roof. It got dark and the ladder fell down. Pierre asked Thibadox how they were gonna get down. Thibadox said, “I am gonna take this flashlight and shine it to the ground and you slide down the beam.” Pierre said, “No, you’re gonna turn it off when I get halfway down.”

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The Slow Golfers!!!

A foursome goes out on the course, only to find themselves waiting on every hole for the most inept golfers they’ve ever seen, who are playing in front of them. After a few holes, they start yelling at the klutzes, but that doesn’t seem to speed their game up. By the time they’ve finished their round, they’re so pissed off that they go straight to the golf pro to complain. “Guys,” he tells them, “those fellas you’ve been screaming at…

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Thar She Blows!

Suzie had a crush on Mikey since she was 15 years old. Mikey never paid Suzie any attention. Every year Suzie would try to get Mikey to notice her but he just wasn’t interested. Finally, when Suzie turned 18, she began to come of age, and sure enough, Mikey noticed. Suzie looked so pretty and grown-up that Mikey asked her for a date on a Friday night!! She was so excited all that week that she could hardly wait for…

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Snow White & The Dwarfs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were roaming in the forest when they came across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decided to take a bath, so she told the Dwarfs to turn around while she was undressing to take the bath. The dwarfs protested vehemently, so she relented and said that when they heard the splash, they could turn around. Snow White undressed and as she was about to jump into water, she was startled by…

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blondes at a horse show.

Two blondes go to a horse auction and buy the two finest there. So when they get them home they say, “How are we gonna tell them apart?” The other one said “We’ll put a notch in one of their ears.” So the next day they come back and both horses have a notch in their ears in the same place. So now they put a ribbon on one horse’s tail. So the next day they came back and the…

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How Cold Was It ?

There were these three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo’s igloo, where he said, “Watch this!” and threw a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze…

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