Ow Jokes - page 10

How to Tell if Your Grandpa Listens to Too Much Rap Music

How to Tell if Your Grandpa Listens to Too Much Rap Music: ?1998 Larry Weaver 1. Refers to his Craftmatic Adjustable bed as a hoopty, and wants hydraulics installed. 2. Gets his dentures capped in gold. 3. Insists that Martha Raye is “bout it, bout it.” 4. Gets excited when his pacemaker beeps because he thinks a ho is paging him. 5. Has “Fubu” crocheted into his sweater. 6. Calls his childhood “the hard knock life,” and begin stories with…

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Read JokeHow to Tell if Your Grandpa Listens to Too Much Rap Music

Blowing Chunks

A Bartender makes a bet with a man. The bartender will set up 20 shots and the man has to drink them without passing out. If the man did this he would be able to drink for free. The man drank the 20 shots and with everyone slapping his back staggered home. Two weeks passed and the man returned to the bar. “Hey! There’s the man who will put me out of business!” the bartender joked “What will you have?”…

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And now, for $1,000…..

A man says to his friend, “I have two questions that I will ask you. One question is extremely easy to answer, while the other one is extremely difficult to answer. If you answer the first question correctly, I will give you $500. If you answer BOTH questions correctly, you will be given $1,000. Do you understand?” The friend nods affirmatively. Continuing, the man says, “OK, which question would you like first? The very easy question, or the very difficult…

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Read JokeAnd now, for $1,000…..

The first cow

Can you imagine the first cow ever made? It would look at itself and say ‘omigod, look at me! I’m huge! I’ve got big, bulging muscles, I’ve got sharp things jabbing out the top of my head. I could kill any other animal in the kingdom. I’m gonna run to the top of this hill and let out a roar that’s gonna make every other animal in the kingdom wet themselves! Mooooooooooo’.

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Golf Widower

A golfer was taken to the police station for questioning. “Mr. Smith, I am Detective O’Reilly. Would you mind telling me what happened out there?” “We were on the 1st hole. Dorothy went up to the women’s tee while I prepared to hit. I carefully gauged my swing and let one rip. It was a beautiful low liner but it had a slight hook. It struck Dorothy smack dab in the back of her head. I took off running but…

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Read JokeGolf Widower

Choose how to die

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce Indian tribe. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.” The Frenchman says, “I take ze poison.” The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and drinks it down.…

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New Cowboy Boots

An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over, “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks again, “Nope.” Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back…

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Read JokeNew Cowboy Boots