Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, “I want to open a fuckin’ checking account!” To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?” “Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin’ checking account right now.” “Sir, I’m sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!” The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him…
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This fellow was sitting at the counter in a truck stop diner eating lunch. He was rather small in stature, bespectacled, and wearing a suit with a bow-tie. On the stool next to him was his dog, an unusually-small, Mexican Chihuahua. He was surrounded by big rough-looking, rough-talking truck drivers, and he was catching a lot of ribbing about his tiny, little dog. He continued in silence eating his lunch. When he finished, he got off his stool, paid his…
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The “good” news is that Mike Tyson will once again be allowed to box, in Nevada. The BAD news is that he won’t be doing it at the supermarket…. The only “ring” that Mike Tyson should be allowed to step into, is the one located on the inside of a bathtub.
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NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: “Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us, over.” “Oink, oink. Pig 1 here, Houston, read you loud and clear!” “Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?” “Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing,…
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Two French brothers were in England, visiting long-lost relatives, their very sophisticated English cousins. Having high tea with Lady Windham, Pierre was making chit-chat: “Tell us about your children, Dear Cousin.” “Oh,” said the Englishwoman, “alas, I have no children.” “I see,” pipe in Jean-Claude, “you are FRUITLESS.” Seeing the expression on Lady Windham’s face, Pierre said, “I think the proper term is UNBEARABLE.” “Non, non,” corrected Jean-Claude. “I’ve got it now: she’s IMPREGNABLE.” The lady winced, and Pierre said,…
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There once was a lady named Big Birtha. She decided one day that she wanted to get a tattoo on her butt. Big on one cheek and Birtha on the other. She went to the tattoo parlor and asked how much it would be. The parlor said that it would be $200. Birtha asked how much she could get for $50. The parlor said you can get a B on one cheek and a B on the other. She agreed.…
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The clerk showed the fellow the store’s most expensive perfume. “This is called ‘Perhaps’,” said the sales clerk. “It’s $285 per ounce.” “Listen,” the fellow shot back, “for $285 an ounce, I don’t want something called ‘Perhaps’ — I want something called, ‘You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You’ll Get Some!’”
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A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…
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A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, “Are they relatives of yours?” “Yes,” his wife replied. “I married into the family.”
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A man walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool alone. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere — your place or my place, it doesn’t matter to me.” The guy raises his eyebrows and says, “No shit, what law firm do you work for?”
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