Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!” she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes.” Before the police get to the crime scene, however, the 911 dispatcher’s telephone rings a second time, and the same blonde…
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Coming on board the Boeing 747 for the first time in her life, the young blonde can hardly contain her excitement and nervousness at riding a jumbo jet for the very first time. In fact, she is so giddy with excitement that she can barely contain herself. To release tension caused by her nervousness, she starts running up and down the aisle from seat to seat, happily chanting in a very loud voice, “BOEING! BOEING! BOEING! BOEING!” Hearing the ruckus…
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Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender Missionary. I’ve baked them, I’ve roasted them, I’ve stewed them, I’ve tried every sort of marinade. I just can’t seem to get them tender.” The second cannibal asks, “What kind of Missionary do you use?” The other replied, “You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a…
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One day, an elderly cat dies. When he goes up to Heaven and meets God, God says to him “Dear sweet sweet cat, you have been such a faithful to your owner, and he has been so curel to you. Is there anything that I can give to you?” And the cat replies, “All my life, I had to sleep on some old cold rags. Could you give me a nice warm blanket?” God gives him a blanket and the…
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Possible Titles for Lewinsky’s New Book: I Suck At My Job What Really Goes Down In The White House : How I Blew It In Washington You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule Going Back for Gore Secret Services to the President Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton Deep Inside The Oval Office The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions She’s Chief…
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There were these five pigs. The first two went into a bar. The bartender asked, “What will you have?” They said five beers. They drank them, and asked, “Where is your bathroom?” The bartender said down the hall. Then the next two pigs came in the bar. “What will you have?” said the bartender. “What did our two brothers have?” The bartender said five beers. “We’ll have ten beers.” They drank them. They asked, “Where is your bathroom?” “Down the…
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Dear Abby, I’ve been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now, I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can’t remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do? – Lovelorn, Portland, OR Dear Lovelorn: If she coughs, fuck her.
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Have you heard about the Kerry library that was burned down? Both books where destroyed, and worse still, one hadn’t even been coloured in yet.
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Joey was a great guy with wonderful qualities except for unbelievably stinky feet. Sharon was a fabulous gal with everything going for her except her terrible breath. Because of these qualities neither dared to date anyone. When they met, however, they knew they were right for each other. As the relationship grew neither could reveal their embarrasing features to each other. When Joey wanted to kiss her, Sharon would decline. Sharon would want to take long walks on the beach…
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An elderly widow and widower had been dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said, “Yes.” The next morning when he awoke, he remembered asking her to marry him, but he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so. Wait! No, she looked kinda funny . . . .” After about an hour of trying to remember, to no avail, he got on the telephone and…
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