Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
My husband’s job as theater manager puts him in daily contact with mischievous and runaway children. So, during the holiday rush when a boisterous two-year-old sped by us in a crowded department store, his arm reached down and automatically fielded the child. He led the tot back to his mother, who, instead of being grateful, gave my husband a look of utter disgust. “Look, wise guy,” she said, acidly, “did you have to catch him so fast?”
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A new kid at school was known to be an outstanding athlete. He knew nothing about football, however. The coach at the high school desired to recruit him for the football team. He approaches the kid with a football in hand and says, “This is a football. Do you think you can pass it?” “Yes,” the young boy replies. “I think I can pass it. If I can swallow it, I think I should be able to pass it.”
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A little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the bus driver. As they’re driving along, the boy sings, “If my daddy was a bull and my mommy was a cow, then I’d be a little bull.” Annoyed, the bus driver tells the little boy to sit down, but the little boy continues, “If my daddy was a stag and my mommy was a deer, I’d be a little stag.” The bus driver tells the boy to shut up,…
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Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” she said. “Why don’t you play with my dog Rollo while you are waiting? He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands and sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he’ll jump through.” The dog followed Paul onto…
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My friend’s sister was to be married on short notice, but still wanted an elaborate wedding. The invitations were ready to be mailed when someone noticed that there were no inserted cards inviting guests to the reception. Undaunted, the mother of the bride typed up a note, made 280 copies and enclosed one with each formal invitation. Family and friends were a bit shocked to read: “Conception immediately following the ceremony in the Grand Ballroom of the Holiday Inn. Everyone…
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Tired of hearing about how dumb football players were, college coach Grabowski remembered a recent press release that crossed his desk and told the interviewer, “It so happens that according to a recent Harrison Poll, over fifty percent of the young men who play college football are making straight A’s.” “I read that report, too,” the interviewer replied, “and my question is this: When will they learn to write the rest of the alphabet?” (You know what football is: a…
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The 5 questions most feared by men are: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that everyone is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along…
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A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff for a medical degree?” the young man blurted out. “To save lives,” the professor replied before continuing the lecture. In a few minutes, the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” The professor stared at the student for a long time. “Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps the…
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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FROM: Human Resources It has been brought to Management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of preferred new phrases…
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how do all intellegent women start a sentence? “a man once told me..”
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