Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She’d made her family’s favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they’d eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she had cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack…
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Grandma and Grandpa were in the doctor’s office one day. After a brief check-up, the doctor said, “You know Grandpa, you’re 98, your wife is 96, tell me …. after this many years of marriage do you two still have mutual climax?” Grandpa said, “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask grandma.” He yelled to his wife, “Grandma do we still have mutual climax?” Grandma said, “Listen, old man, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…
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We know about ambulance-chasing lawyers, but there’s also big money in splitsville. There was shifty-eyed guy at the post office methodically licking “Love” stamps and placing them on a pile of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over. After all were stamped, the man took out a perfume bottle and sprayed each envelope. A curious bystander asked: “What are you doing?” “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” said the fellow at the counter. “But why?” “I’m a…
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He: Haven’t we met before? She: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the Bad Breath Clinic. He: Is this seat empty? She: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. He: So, wanna go back to my place? She: I don’t know. Can two people fit under a rock? He: Your place or mine? She: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. He: So what do you do for a living? She: I’m a female…
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One day a man was sick and tired of winter so he tied his snow shoes on the top of his car and drove south. When he got to Kansas City he pulled over and asked if any one knew what was on top of his car. Someone said, “Aren’t they snow shoes?” “Yes,” he replied and got back in his car then drove further south. Finally he got to S.Carolina and pulled into a gas station. Pointing to the…
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There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where Saint Peter met them and asked, “What would each of you like to hear your relatives or friends say at your funeral?” The first man answered, “I am a renowned doctor and I would love to hear someone say how I had been instrumental in saving someone’s life and gave them a second chance.” The second man replied, “I am a family man and a school teacher, I…
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Stopped at traffic light, the gray beard biker stared wide-eyed at a punk rocker crossing the street in front of him. The kid was a helluva sight. The punker had green, orange, yellow, and blue hair, elaborately waxed up into tall spikes sprouting from the top of his head. Seeing the old biker staring at him, the punk rocker stopped and said, “Hey, whatcha lookin’ at, man? Didn’t you ever do anythin’ excitin’ in your life when you were younger?”…
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An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi. The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was…
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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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A car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trenchcoats. The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. One of the worst pile-ups in history occurs. When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the side of the road, the man…
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