Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man rents a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There is only one camel available and it has one little problem, the camel owner tells him. Periodically, this camel will stop and refuse to move until somebody beats it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he will go along with that. He sets off into the desert. Sure as hell, he has to beat off the camel every day for…
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As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., “Steady as she goes” or “She’s listing to starboard, Captain!”). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion are the followings: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message…
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At the gates of Heaven, St. Peter is waiting for each soul that enters. It was a slow day, but finally, someone arrives at the gates. Peter looks the guy over and asks, “How long were you married and how many times did you cheat on her?” The guy looks proudly at Peter and says, “In all the 25 years I was married, I never once cheated on my wife.” Peter smiles and says, “Because of that, you get to…
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A young woman was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later, she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful…
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A bloke goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five pints. The barman gives him an odd look since the bloke’s all by himself, but he serves up the five pints and lines them up on the bar. The bloke downs them . . . One, Two, Three, Four, Five. He finishes the last one and calls to the barman: “Four pints, please, mate!” The barman serves up four more pints and lines them up…
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Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…
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Name:Woman Symbol:WO Atomic weight:(Don’t go there) Physical Properties:Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties:Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Also able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage:Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful…
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Once there was this officer who heard a sneeze behind him from a group of four soldiers who were under his command so he went to them and asked, “Who sneezed?” but no one answered. So he asked again, but they were afraid to tell him; so he got MAD, and asked the first man, “Who sneezed?” When he didn’t answer, he shot him. Then asked the second one who didn’t know what to do, so he shot him. The…
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A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place . . . The man says, “What’s the problem, Officer?” Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55-zone.” Man: “No Sir, I was going 65.” Wife: “Oh, Harry, you were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: “I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.” Man: “Broken tail light? I didn’t…
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If America Online was a city… 1) You’d live in a place where no two people had the same name. 2) You’d only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck. 3) Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you’d be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99. 4) The commute to work…
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