Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.” “Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.” “Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene!’” “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.” “If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now…
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[Note: this joke is better told than read] As Veteran’s Day approached, a Minnesota pastor decided it would be a good idea to have members of his congregation speak about their wartime activities. After a little research, he discovered that one of his parishioners was a fighter pilot for Norway. He asked the man to speak to the congregation, and the old pilot reluctantly agreed. After starting slowly, the old flyer warmed to the task. “Ja, I vas a Norvegian…
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If you have to write a ‘letter of recommendation’ for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases: -For the chronically absent: A man like him is hard to find. It seemed her career was just taking off. -For the office drunk: I feel his real talent is wasted here. We generally found him loaded with work to do. Every hour with him was a happy hour. -For an employee with no ambition: He could not care less about…
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1. You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up. 2. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before… 3. You can see individual air molecules vibrating. 4. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso. 5. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. 6. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. 7.…
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There was this Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time on an airplane, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned…
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Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounced three sequential colors. One day, they heard, “yellow, blue, black.” One of the nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were…
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An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not accustomed to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, soy sauce, etc.) and was constantly sending his man servant, Abdul, to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. “Abdul, you son…
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A boy about to get married comes home from his bachelor party. His father is waiting up for him to find out how it went. When the boy walks in and sees his father he says, “Dad, I know you and Mother have spent a lot of money and time on the wedding, but, I can’t marry her!” “Why’s this, son?” the father ask. “Well, tonight I found out she’s still a virgin!” Then the father staggers back a little…
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There was this little boy named Johnny and Johnny was in Kindergarten. One day, Johnny was in the back of the class room when his teacher noticed him scratching frantically at his privates. “Johnny, what’s wrong?” his teacher asked. “It itches” Johnny said. “Well, go to the office and have the secretary call your Mommy” the teacher said. Johnny called his mom and a few minutes later the teacher noticed that Johnny was back in the class room and scratching…
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There once was a blonde, brunette and a red head. They were all stranded on a deserted island. One day they were all walking along the beach when they came across a lamp. They decided to rub it hoping a genie would appear and grant them three wishes. So they rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared saying to them, “I shall grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, you can all have one wish each.”…
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