Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A five-year-old boy walks into his parents’ bedroom just as his full-chested mom is about to put on her bra. “What are those, Mommy?” he asks, pointing to her breasts. “Oh, those are balloons, Jimmy. When women die, they inflate and float you up to Heaven.” The following week, Jimmy runs into the kitchen where his mother is preparing lunch. “Mommy, come quick, Aunt Betty is dying!” cries the little boy. “What do you mean she’s dying??” asks Mommy. “She’s…
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Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…
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On the first day of school the teacher announces, “To get to know the class better, I’d like each child to tell us their name, what their father does for a living, spell it, and if he were here what would he give the class?” The first boy says, “Hi, my name is Johhny. My daddy is a baker, B-A-K-E-R and if my father was here he would give the class a muffin.” Next girl says, “Hi, my name is…
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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…
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MARY: Hey Mom, these nice boys bet me $10.00 that I would not climb the light pole. MOM: Don’t, they’ll see your panties. THE NEXT DAY MARY: I climbed the light pole & instead of $10 those nice boys gave me $100! MOM: Did they see your panties? MARY: Nope! I didn’t wear any.
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The psychiatrist was holding a group consultation with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he told them. To the first one, he said, “Your obsession is eating. Why, you’ve even named your daughter Candy.” The second, he said, was obsessed by money. “Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother arose and, taking her little boy by the hand, whispered, “Let’s go, Dick.”
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THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car’s hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. male: Playing football without a helmet. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys. BUTT (but) n. female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look…
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A very old couple book a honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The bell boy, while taking their luggage to the suite, thinks to himself, “At their ages, they are booking a suite. What a waste!” After leaving them in their room with a a very heavy tip, he decides to spy on them. That night he sits in the lobby opposite their room. All night long he hears laughing and clapping sounds from…
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Some very important questions to ask yourselves. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called “Poles”, why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes”? If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip’s Screwdriver? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig…
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A homophobic father admitted his 5 year old son into a military school because his son drew a picture of a rainbow. After 10 years the son thanked his father for admitting him there because that is where he met his boyfriend.
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