Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. A guitar has a volume knob. 2. If you break a guitar’s G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one. 3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want to. 4. You can unplug a guitar. 5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining. 6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset. 7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested. 8. You can have…
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Q: What is the shortest book in the world. A: What men know about women
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There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where Saint Peter met them and asked, “What would each of you like to hear your relatives or friends say at your funeral?” The first man answered, “I am a renowned doctor and I would love to hear someone say how I had been instrumental in saving someone’s life and gave them a second chance.” The second man replied, “I am a family man and a school teacher, I…
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20. I’m going to give you ten pence, so you can phone your mum and tell her you won’t be coming home. 19. Why not sit on my lap, and we’ll see if anything comes up. 18. Can I check the label on your bra? Why? To see if those tits really are made in heaven. 17. Your daddy must have been a baker, because you have got a great set of buns. 16. Are your legs tired? Why? Because…
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One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, “Now don’t forget to use wooden spoons.” As I stirred my sauce, I contempleted the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory. “Why wooden spoons?” I asked. “Because, she replied,…
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Q. Why do men marry women? A. Because sheep can’t cook!
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1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker. 2. No I don’t want another beer. I have to work tomorrow. 3. Her tits are just too big. 4. Sometimes I just want to be held. 5. That chick on “20/20” gives me a woody. 6. Sure! I’d LOVE to wear a condom. 7. We haven’t been to the mall for ages, let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse. 8. Screw Monday Night Football; let’s watch “Ally McBeal”.…
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Your momma is so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person. Your so stupid, you think Federal Express is a branch of the government. Your father is so dumb, he went to an LA Clippers game to get a haircut. Your mother is so stupid, she thinks Olde Engkish 800 is a college course. Your mother is so stupid, she tired to drown herself in a car pool. your mother is so stupid, she put your brother in…
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Not-So-Secret Male Handbook 1. Practice grunting 5 times a day. While some may find it acceptable to grunt only before the morning coffee, the true male will only answer in monosyllabic form, except for emergencies, i.e.. when some portion of your body is on fire. 2. Never ask for directions. Ever. Even if you find yourself crossing the state line when all you wanted was to go buy some ammo. 3. Never ever show emotion. No exceptions. Including the emergency…
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President Clinton was at the beach and got into trouble while swimming. He called for help, and three young men went to his rescue and pulled him ashore. Clinton wanted to show his gratitude, so he offered to give each of the young men what they would like, within reason. The first young man said that he would like to have a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Clinton told him he could select it and to just send him the bill. The…
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