Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.” “That’s odd,” her companion replies, “but if we are going to live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor, and they both walk toward the cart. “Two dogs, please,” she says. The vendor is only…
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This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO’s Land Operations/Simulation division. They’ve been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaissance Helicopters into exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers. Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they…
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One day a man walks up to a beautiful woman working in a library. “I’ll bet you three hundred dollars that by this time tomorrow your nipples will be gone” The woman is completely shocked and doesn’t know what to say. “I’m completely serious,” he says as he puts an envelope full of money on the counter “by this time tomorrow your nipples will be gone. You won’t see me until tomorrow and i will not attack you and slice…
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A man says to his friend, “I have two questions that I will ask you. One question is extremely easy to answer, while the other one is extremely difficult to answer. If you answer the first question correctly, I will give you $500. If you answer BOTH questions correctly, you will be given $1,000. Do you understand?” The friend nods affirmatively. Continuing, the man says, “OK, which question would you like first? The very easy question, or the very difficult…
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Here is a great historical instance of out-of-the-box thinking: The renown British physicist Ernest Rutherford was known as the father of nuclear physics. When he was a professor at an English university, he got a call from a colleague who asked if Rutherford would be a referee on the grading of an examination question. This fellow professor was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question while the student claimed he should receive a…
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A priest and a rabbi walked into a bar. After sitting down, ordering, and some chit chat, the priest said, “Have you noticed that there are no women in this bar?” He then realized the truth, “I think we’re in a gay bar.” A man approached and tried to flirt with the priest. The priest was dumbfounded, and didn’t know quite what to do. The rabbi leaned over and whispered something in the man’s ear. The man nodded and walked…
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The young lady was nodding her head at what the psychiatrist was telling her, and said, “Yes, I see, Dr. Schmidt. At least, I see everything but one point. The one thing I’m hazy about is this phallic symbol you mentioned. What’s a phallic symbol?” “A phallic symbol,” said the psychiatrist, “is anything that can be used to represent or symbolize a phallus.” “But what’s a phallus, doctor?” The psychiatrist said, “I think I can explain that most clearly by…
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One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem — my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hat pin with you. I’ll be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in…
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An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission…
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OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…
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