Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Sister Margaret and Sister Catherine went for a walk late one afternoon. They lost track of the time and finally realized that if they didn’t hurry back to the convent, they would be late for evening prayers. It was getting dark and in order to save time, they decided to take a short cut through the park, even though they were aware of the dangers of being in the park at night. They were hurrying through the park when all…
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Spook had been suffering from a bad case of the limpdick for several months, so he went to see the doctor. After an extensive battery of tests, the doc sat him down to tell him the results. “I’m sorry,” said the doctor, “but you’ve simply over done it these last few years. Frankly,your penis is burned out, and from what I can determine, you’ve only got about 30 erections left – after that, it’s all over for you in the…
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Y-to-K Date Change Project Status “Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the “Y-to-K” date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data…
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A preacher was speaking to his congregation one Sunday. He was commenting that members of his congregation were patting him on the back and saying how good he was. He told them that he has to be good, he gets PAID for being good. Then he pointed to his audience and said, “But you all are good for nothing.”
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The man was soliciting investors for a new type of tampon he was planning on marketing… He assured all prospective buyers that the investment was risk free… When asked how…the man replies there were “No Strings Attached…”
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When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a “dirty son of a bitch” to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office New Year’s Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today, and as this is my last day on the job, I’d like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I…
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This is supposedly a true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO’s Land Operations/Simulation division. They’ve been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaissance Helicopters into exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers. Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they…
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Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden. However, no matter what she did, she couldn’t get her tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor’s garden, which had lovely, bright red tomatores, she went over one day and ask him his secret. “It’s really quite simple,” the old man explained. “Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes, and they turn red with embarrassment.” Desperate…
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“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…
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Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He told them: “I need three important people to send my message out to all people: Tomorrow I will destroy the earth.” Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: “I have two really bad news items for you: 1) God really exists and 2) Tomorrow He will destroy the earth.” Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: “I…
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