No men Jokes - page 12

10 things women will NEVER understand about Men:

Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke10 things women will NEVER understand about Men:

A Letter to Our Government

Dear Sir, My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeA Letter to Our Government

Clinton Joke No. 15646

President Clinton was at the beach and got into trouble while swimming. He called for help, and three young men went to his rescue and pulled him ashore. Clinton wanted to show his gratitude, so he offered to give each of the young men what they would like, within reason. The first young man said that he would like to have a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Clinton told him he could select it and to just send him the bill. The…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeClinton Joke No. 15646

Mensan Musings

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. I can’t dial NINE-ELEVEN in an emergency, because there’s no ELEVEN on my phone. Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names. What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free? Can you yell “MOVIE!” in a crowded fire station? If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? To vacillate…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMensan Musings

The Monsignor and the Priest

A new priest saying mass for the first time was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor told him that he appeared nervous but that he had some advice for him. He told the new priest that he always puts a glass of vodka next to the water glass. ?If I get nervous I drink from that glass? the Monsignor told the priest. The following Sunday the priest…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Monsignor and the Priest

3 Arguing Men

Three guys are arguing about whose wife is more stupid. First guy says: “My wife, she just went and brought a $10,000 dress and she 8 sizes too big for it.” Second guy says: “Well, my wife, she just went and bought a Ferrari and she can’t drive.” Third guy says: “Well, my wife she so stupid that she just went to Hawaii with a bag full of condoms…and I’m not going with her!!”

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke3 Arguing Men

Amazing Women

The three most amazing things about women are: #1 They can give milk without eating grass. #2 They can bleed for a week and not die. #3 They can bury a bone and not get their noses dirty.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAmazing Women

Recruiting Then And Now

Ernest Shackleton’s recruiting advertisement for 1912 Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition: “Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success.” If Shackleton were advertising in the 1990’s: “Members wanted for adventure trek. Low cost, cool sights, fun nights, thrills galore, insurance available. Get your picture in Outside magazine.”

(2)Loading...

Read JokeRecruiting Then And Now