Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
As you know, I have been delivering presents to good boys and girls for several centuries, but after bypass surgery last Spring, I feel that I can no longer visit every home on earth in the early hours of Christmas morning. Accordingly, I have asked a distant cousin on my father’s side if he would assume some of my responsibilities by visiting the homes in the southern USA, as he is from the deep South himself…actually the South Pole. His…
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We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthly, musky scent that only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know, and quiet whispering of the leaves in the Weeping Willow overhead added the final touch to the most romantic scene. We lay there, both naked, I knew I had to have her and have her now. Without a word being spoken, I managed to…
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A high level executive sits at a local bar one night and orders a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, the bartender notices the man speaking in to the palm of his hand, as if he were giving orders to a secretary. “Who were you talking to?” the bartender asks the executive, thinking the man was having a breakdown. The executive stretches out his left hand and shows the bartender a cellphone keyboard encrusted into his left hand.…
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I just heard there’s going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of Episode 1… The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition ———————————————– INT: BESPIN GANTRY – MOMENTS LATER: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry.…
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Kelvin comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Kelvin. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Kelvin overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but…
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Dear Abby: I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his! Dear Abby: I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Dear Abby: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think…
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Mess Test :Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fishstick behind the TV and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Buy a 55-gallon drum of Lego. (If Lego’s are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks.) Have a friend spread them all over the house and stairways. Put on a blindfold and remove your shoes and socks. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, as this could wake the child at night.…
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An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. “Well, my wife ain’t home. She’s gone down to the crick to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got,” said the man. The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn’t interested. Then the…
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The newlyweds were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the big burly husband tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on”. She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your trousers”, she said. “That’s right”, said the husband, “and don’t you forget it. I’m the man and I wear the trousers in this family!” With that she flipped him her…
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A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned and says, “What if this place is still bugged?” The groom says, “I’ll look for a bug.” He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, and under the rug. Finally, he says, “AHA!” Under the rug is a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager…
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