Night man Jokes - page 37

Marriage

1. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. 2. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. 3. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 4. A man was complaining to a friend: “I had it all – money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; Then, Pow! it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the…

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10 cents

A man had a big dance comming up but the problem was he didn’t know how to dance. So he went to a dance studio. The instructor told him to pretend that there is a 10 cent piece on his right shoulder and that he must try to touch the coin with his earlobe in time to the music. So the guy went home and practiced this all week long. The next week the instructor told him to do the…

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Revenge on the Town Gossip

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town’s morals recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town’s only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

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Wishing Snake

A cowboy was riding the range and as he rounded a bend in the road, his horse balked at a huge rattlesnake in the road. As he drew his colt and was ready to shoot, the snake yelled, “Stop..I am a charmed snake and if you don’t shoot me I’ll grant you three wishes.” Somewhat shaken, he holstered his revolver and said, “OK, let’s see what you can do”. The cowboy said, “I’ve been working really hard all my life,…

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Cat Burglars

Two thieves decided to break into a rich man’s house one night. To avoid being seen by anyone, they decided to enter through the chimney. Unaware that the rich man was at home, the first thief began to climb down the chimney, quite noisily. “Who’s there?” asked the rich man. “Meow, meow,” said the first thief, imitating a cat. Convinced that it was only a cat, the rich man went back to watching television. After awhile, the second thief began…

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Jewish and Italian boys

Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other’s present better, and so they trade. That night, when the Italian boy…

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Horrible Dreams

“Doc,” said the young many, lying down on the couch, “You’ve got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I’m lying in bed when, all of a sudden, five beautiful women rush in and start tearing off my clothes.” The psychiatrist nods, “And what do you do?” “I push them away.” “I see. Well, what do you want ME to do?” The patient implored, “Break my arms.”

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WINE – OOOOHHHHH

A homeless drunk scrapes up all his change one day and heads for his favorite liquor store. He places $5.00 in change on the counter and says, “Max give me four bottles of the cheapest ripple ya got!” Eager with his score, he immediately downs all four bottles and passes out in an alley. Along about 1:30am a disgruntled fag happens by after striking out at the local gay bar. Spying the passed out drunk, he decides to relive himself.…

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The Sentance

One night a married woman awoke to a moaning sound and found her husband wasn’t in bed with her. Getting worried the woman went downsairs but to no avail could she find her husband. She was ready to go back to bed when she heard the moaning sob again, only it was coming from the basement. After going down into the basement she found her husband balled up in a corner crying his eyes out. When she asked him what…

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Fire fighting

A fireman came from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we’re ready to go on the trucks.” “From now on,” he said, “we’re going to run this house the same way: When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I…

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Read JokeFire fighting