New animal Jokes - page 5

Although the today’s joke was submitted “anonymously”, we at Comedy.com suspect that Bill O’Riely may have submitted it. If so, thanks Bill! Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck. A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview…

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I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in…

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A farmer was down on his luck having suffered a bad growing season, lack of crops and poor prices. To make ends meet he decided he’d have to sell his dog – a most intelligent animal. A few days after placing the ad, a man came to see this “intelligent” dog. When asked what the dog could do, the farmer pointed to a stand of trees nearby and informed the man there was a pond on the other side. He…

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A new exchange student had just come to his new school and his teacher said to him, “To help you learn english faster I want you to write down four words during lunch that you really like!” The boy nodded and went to work. When he was in the playground he played a game his friends called “take off.” He liked those words so he wrote them down. Later he and his friends were playing a game where they had…

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Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…

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