Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking: Sadie: “That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before an answer I give him.” Yetta: “Vell,…I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment, punctual like a clock. And like such a mench, he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then…
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Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer? A prostitute, they can clean their crack and sell it again ******************************** What do bungee jumping and a prostitute have in common? They’re both cheap, they last only a few seconds, and if the rubber band breaks, you’re dead. ******************************** How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? The joystick is wet. ******************************** What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet…
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Old cowboy Sam suddenly found all of his cows were very sick. An immediate call to the vet resulted in the recommendation for a cure involving the insertion of a rather large pill in the rear of each animal. After several rather difficult tries, another call to the vet resulted in the use of a blow pipe. With the pill in the blow pipe and a hard puff the pill was immediately lodged in the proper location. With the large…
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A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. “Hmmmm,” he wonders, “How am I gonna get more dough?” Then he gets an idea. He calls his father. “Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!” “That’s absolutely amazing!” his father says. “How do I…
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A team of archaeologists were working when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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A tourist guide brought a group of tourists from the MidWest to the New York City zoo. Stopping in front of the elephant’s enclosure, the tourist guide began his lecture, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant – the largest animal to roam the land. Everyday, the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of banana, 6 tons of hay and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits…” Seeing a woman tourist getting near an elephant, the tourist guide warned, “Madam, please don’t stand…
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Mess Test :Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fishstick behind the TV and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Buy a 55-gallon drum of Lego. (If Lego’s are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks.) Have a friend spread them all over the house and stairways. Put on a blindfold and remove your shoes and socks. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, as this could wake the child at night.…
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