Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young, frazzled mother stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs with every hair in place, asked why she was just standing there. “Here,” she said, handing him the coats. “This time, YOU put the children into their coats, and I’ll go sit in the car and honk the horn.”
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A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt. “Darling wife,” the husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if–” The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that…
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I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: “When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”
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Seven-year-old little Johnny, like other boys his age, are rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered just what it was all about. One day he asked his mother, and she became quite flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains later that night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. So he did this, and the next morning he gave this…
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A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.” “I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off and relax.” The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here. I need…
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Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time…. “Class,” said he, “my name begins with the letter ‘M,’ and I pick up things…. What am I?” A little boy on the front row said, “You’re a mother.”
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A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, “I don’t have any money.. but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother!” To that the man asks, “Anything?” And the blonde says, “yes.. Anything!” With that, the man says, “Follow me.” He walks into the next room and tells her, “Come in and close the door”. She does.…
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Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…
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An Indian girl comes home one day and confronts her mother: “Hey mom I think I got a bad case of v.d.” “Well put it in the basement, then,..” the mother replies, “your father will drink anything”.
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Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. “Who is it?” calls one of the…
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