Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again…
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arachnoleptic fit, n: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. Beelzebug, n: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out. bozone, n: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down at any time in the future. cashtration, n: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject…
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Bill Clinton arrived Friday in the Virgin Islands to deliver a speech. That’s not all he delivered. After he left Monday morning, the government had to change the name of the place.
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An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission…
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Not-So-Secret Male Handbook 1. Practice grunting 5 times a day. While some may find it acceptable to grunt only before the morning coffee, the true male will only answer in monosyllabic form, except for emergencies, i.e.. when some portion of your body is on fire. 2. Never ask for directions. Ever. Even if you find yourself crossing the state line when all you wanted was to go buy some ammo. 3. Never ever show emotion. No exceptions. Including the emergency…
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A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, “Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away…
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3 female potatoes are having a chat because they are all getting married in the morning. The first potatoe says she is getting hitched to a King Edward, and the others go ‘oohhh nice. He will be loaded , and he is royal too.’ The second potatoe says, ‘well I am getting married to a Jersey Royal- we will be living in a mansion it will be dead posh’. Then the third potatoes says she is going to gat married…
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A soldier from the Scottish Royal Pipers brought a carefully wrapped package into the dry cleaners. “Good mornin’, Sergeant”, said the clerk behind the counter. “What can we do for ye today.” Gingerly undoing the string and the wrapping paper, the sergeant opened the box and carefully removed a used, wet Trojan contraceptive. “I’d like a quotation to have this dry cleaned”, he said. “Well, Sir, I would have to charge you fifty cents to dry clean it, but you…
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A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room. “Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. “The Smiths bought one for their bedroom.…
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Baby Photographer The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.” Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….” “Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting…
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