Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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A woman walks into a bar and orders drinks for the house. The bartender sets them up then says, “That’ll be $105.50.” The woman says, “I don’t have any money.” The bartender says, “Then how do you expect to pay for all these drinks?” She lifts up her skirt past her crotch. She’s got no panties on. The bartender says, “Don’t you have anything smaller?”
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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future … until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. To be happy with a man,…
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Little known state mottos: Alabama: “Segregation now, Segregation Forever!” Alaska: “Land of 11,623 drunken Eskimos” Arizona: “It’s not the heat….” Arkansas: “Litterasy Ain’t Everything” California: “Land of the ‘Quakers’.” Colorado: “If you don’t ski, don’t come.” Connecticut: “Home of the ‘term life’ policy.” Delaware: “Home of prison floggings and an age 7 ‘consent law’.” Florida: “Ask Us About Our Grandkids.” Georgia: “Going to church? Bring your own snake.” Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (“If you’ve got the money,…
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DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of time, money, and effort to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like at present and will learn to lake a lot less in the future. EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man. EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women…
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MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS ELEMENT: Woman SYMBOL: WO (Varies HO depending on which periodic table is used) DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40-200kg. OCCURRENCES: Migrates in clusters. Copious quantities in all urban areas. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered in painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states from virgin metal…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. I don’t get even, I…
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One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He had everything: money, a big house in Beverly Hills, women, cars, planes, bonds and stocks; anything he wanted. The guy was also a little eccentric, and he had filled his pool with crocodiles. So at the party, he and his friends are all standing around drinking and partying next to the pool. The guy gets up on the lifeguard tower and all his friends look up. He…
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Hello, my name is Jonathan McKenzie. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before…
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