Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Clancy was brooding over his beer at the barroom and said to his friend, “I tell you, Mulligan, I don’t know what I’m going to do about my wife.” “What is it now?” “The same old thing—money. She’s always asking for money! Only last Thursday, she wanted ten dollars! Yesterday she was around asking for twenty! And this morning, if you please, she demanded fifty dollars!” “What does she do with all the money, for heaven’s sake?” “There’s no way…
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A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new “city” outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, “Yes ma’am, ya see, I’m from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit.” Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, “Where would you like to start?” “Well ma’am. How about a suit?” “Yes sir, what size?” “Size 53 … tall, ma’am.” “Wow, that’s really…
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For you ladies (and men so you’re prepared), a little MEN ARE LIKE humor: MEN ARE LIKE… Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years. MEN ARE LIKE… Bank Accounts, without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest. MEN ARE LIKE… Blenders, you need one, but you’re not quite sure why. MEN ARE LIKE… Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they usually head right to your hips. MEN ARE…
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A guy walks into a bar and notices an old friend of his seated miserably in the corner. He orders a drink and strolls over to ask his pal what is wrong. “I’ve just found out that mobile phones give you cancer.” Rather bewildered, our man asks why such a superstitious theory could upset him so much. “Well,” replies the man once again. “I’ve just bought one with the money I’ve saved from giving up smoking!”
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Two women met for the first time since graduating from High School. One asked the other, “Have you managed to live a well-planned life?” “Oh yes!” said her friend. “First I married a millionaire, then an actor. My third marriage was to a preacher and now I’m married to an undertaker.” “What do all those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?” “One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go.”
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The 5 questions most feared by men are: 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that everyone is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along…
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A dad and his newly married daughter are on a train. Suddenly, a group of bandits jumps on board demanding, “Give us all your money, bags, jewelry — everything valuable!!” Everyone gives up all their things and they move on to the next car. The father looks over at his daughter and she is putting on her wedding ring. He asks, “Where did you hide that?” She says, “In my mouth.” The dad exclaims, “I wish your mother were here…
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THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE AGE DRINK 17 beer 25 bourbon 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox AGE SEDUCTION LINE 17 My parents are away for the weekend. 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48 My wife is away for the weekend. 66 My second wife is dead. AGE FAVORITE SPORT 17 sex 25 sex 35 sex 48 sex 66 napping AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 tongue…
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A pig farmer had about 9 sows he needed to get bred. He called around the area to only find out the only available breeder was two counties over. So he loaded up the pigs in a truck and headed out. When he got to the breeder, as he was unloading the pigs, the man ask what it would cost. The man replied, “It’ll be $100.00 a sow”. The man says, “That’s outrageous, I don’t have that kind of money”.…
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NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change…
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