Men women Jokes - page 10

What Men Really Mean

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…

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Elementary, My Dear Watson Part 2

“Good afternoon, ladies,” says Sherlock Holmes to three women sitting on a park bench as he and his good friend Dr. Watson are taking an afternoon stroll through the park in London. When they are out of earshot from the three women, Dr. Watson asks, “I say, Holmes, do you know those ladies back there?” “No, Watson,” replies Holmes, “I don’t know the spinster, the prostitute and the new bride.” Astonished, Watson asks again in a surprised voice, “Good heavens,…

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True meanings of men’s rejections

10. I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly.) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly.) 6. I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly.) 5. I don’t date women where I work. (You’re ugly.) 4. It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly.) 3. I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly.) 2. I’m celibate. (You’re ugly.) 1.…

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It begins with MEN

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all our problems start with MEN? Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a sixpack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A: Because…

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Proposal Agreement

I, the undersigned, a male proposing marriage agree that? Section 1. In the likely event of my not giving you an orgasm, will keep on going, despite my lack of stamina and size until you have been satisfied. Section 1.01. I?ll behave myself in a mature manner and fight the temptation to scream ?Who?s your daddy? and grunt like a sea lion. Section 1.02. I will never complain about too much foreplay. Section 2. I fully understand that a man?s…

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Emerald Fennell Shocks Brontë Festival-Goers: Declares ‘Enormous Amount of Sado-Masochism’ in Wuthering Heights

Emerald Fennell didn’t come to the Brontë Women’s Writing festival to make friends, but rather to drop a literary bombshell! ? The Saltburn director boldly declared there’s “an enormous amount of sado-masochism” hidden within Emily Brontë’s classic Wuthering Heights. She then casually defended her decision to cast A-listers like Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi in her sex-charged retelling, leaving festival attendees likely clutching their pearls (or perhaps quietly Googling the definition of ‘sado-masochism’). ? It seems Heathcliff and Catherine’s toxic…

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Read JokeEmerald Fennell Shocks Brontë Festival-Goers: Declares ‘Enormous Amount of Sado-Masochism’ in Wuthering Heights

Obama: Trump’s Wild Paracetamol-Autism Theory Is ‘Violence Against The Truth’

Obama: Trump’s Wild Paracetamol-Autism Theory Is ‘Violence Against The Truth’. Former President Obama has weighed in on his successor’s rather… unique claims. Apparently, the idea that a common painkiller (you know, the one branded Tylenol in the US, good old paracetamol!) somehow causes autism is so out there, it’s not just a fib, it’s ‘violence against the truth’ ?. Obama lamented that such claims not only undermine public health but could also ‘do harm to women’. One might wonder what…

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At 91, Maureen Duffy Proves You’re Never Too Old to Pioneer, Scoops Prize for ‘Mature’ Talent

At 91, Maureen Duffy is officially redefining ‘pioneering,’ charmingly snagging the inaugural ‘Pioneer’ prize! ? This delightful new literary award, specifically designed for female writers over 60, was thoughtfully launched by RSL president Bernardine Evaristo. And here’s the best part: it’s funded by the generous £100,000 Evaristo herself won from another prestigious women’s prize. Talk about empowering the seasoned literary ladies with a brilliant pay-it-forward scheme! ?? It seems the literary world is finally celebrating the wisdom (and wit!) that…

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Read JokeAt 91, Maureen Duffy Proves You’re Never Too Old to Pioneer, Scoops Prize for ‘Mature’ Talent