Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.…
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Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary DAY 752 – My captors continue to torment me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another. DAY 761…
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Four men went golfing together one day; the three men started for the first tee while the other went to pay his bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder and he is so successful he gave a friend a new home – for free!” The second man said “My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that…
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This Amazing Compilation Wish Completer Survey Quiz is quite astounding. One young man in Grasklebakistaninopleopolis recieved a brand new goat for simply filling out this survey and taking the quiz. TRY IT YOURSELF, IT WILL REVEAL EVERYTHING BURRIED IN YOUR SOUL!!! **Full name: It is spelled George Robertson, but pronounced Franklin O’Henry Ftang Ftang Ole Biscuit-barrel **Nickname: The Pope **Favorite color out of, muave, off-white, Asia Minor, Cindy Crawford: Elm Tree **Favorite drink, mountain dew or crab juice? Parlezvous Frances?…
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An old man gets on the subway one afternoon, and sits down across from a punk rocker with red, green, yellow and orange hair and feather earrings. The man stares at the punk, looking puzzled. The punk says, “What’s the matter, old man? Didn’t you ever do anything wild in your life?” The old man replies, “Yeah, I screwed a parrot once. I was just wondering if you were my kid.”
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118. By the end of the party, he’s got every damn kid doing the “pull my finger” trick. 17. Clown car must be started with a Breathalyzer device. 16. Keeps screaming, “My name’s not BO-zo, it’s bo-ZO!” 15. References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds. 14. Props for his “disappearing” trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV. 13. Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the “Severed Limb” trick. 12. Tells the kids he…
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This doesn’t quite qualify as a Darwin Award, but it comes pretty close… PADERBORN, GERMANY – Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly — and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like…
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A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” The husband asks, “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night, and he might as well deal with it. The next day the husband takes…
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It was Christmas time and Jim wanted to buy a nice present for his girlfriend. He walked into a pet shop and walked up to the front counter. “Excuse me, sir, but do you have any special pets?” Jim asked the man “Why yes right over there.” He pointed to a small parrot perched on a wooden stick inside a cage in the corner. “His name is CHET.” “Well, what does this bird do that is so special??” Jim asked.…
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve some bad new for you … you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room. There he saw his…
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