Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was this old couple getting ready to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man went out shopping to find a really nice present for his wife. When he returned home, he found his wife standing on her head naked. For the life of him, he could not figure out what in the hell she was doing , so he asked,”Honey…what in God’s name are you doing naked ,standing on your head??” “Well dear,” she replied, “it is our…
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Signs That You are Too Drunk You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream. Career won’t progress beyong Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case- coincidence?…
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A reporter, interviewing an old fisherman who had reached his 99th birthday, said, “I certainly hope I can come back again next year and see you reach 100.” “Can’t see why not, young man,” the old fisherman said. “You look healthy enough to me.”
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The parents of a newborn son were devastated to learn that their baby was born with a golden screw in his navel. Surgeons had never seen this before, and fearing it would harm the boy, refused to operate. The parents were very religious and accepted the birth defect as God’s will. The mother never gave up faith, and as her son grew up she prayed daily for God to cure him. The boy was very shy, always hiding his golden-screw…
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Two retired men were sitting in the bar at their local golf club, after an appauling round, in rainy, cold miserable conditions, with a pint of beer each. “That was awful today,” said the first man, staring at the table through his pint glass. “Yeah, it was the worst I’ve ever played,” replied the second. “I wonder, do you think they have golf in heaven? I hope so. Just imagine it, the lush rolling hills, crystal clear lakes, immaculate greens,…
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The statuesque blonde walked into a dinner party on the arm of a scowling tycoon. She took her seat at the dinner table while her escort conversed with other guests. A woman sitting nearby couldn’t help staring at the huge gem hanging from her neck. “Excuse me,” the woman said, “but I must tell you… that is the most gorgeous diamond I’ve ever seen.” “Why, thank you. It’s the Grumpmeyer Diamond.” “I’m surprised I’ve never heard of it”, the woman…
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Smoking helps you lose weight . . . one lung at a time! Tell a man there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it to see. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had struggled so. He said, a bit sheepishly, “I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of this…
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3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,”I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful…
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A man was walking along the side of a wooden fence with an insane asylum on the other side. He could hear the patients yelling “thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” and was wondering what was going on. As he walked along the side of the fence, he noticed a hole and thought he would be able to see what was going on. As he stuck his eye up to the hole a finger poked him in the eye. He could then hear…
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