Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator. On the third floor a man gets in who looks perfect– 3 piece suit, great build, nice butt. The bad part is they both notice he had dandruff. The man got off on the 5th floor. Once the doors closed the brunette turned to the blonde and said, “Someone should give him Head and Shoulders.” To which the blonde replied, “How do you give Shoulders?”
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There was this bootlegger driving down the road when a police officer pulled him over. The police officer walked up to the car and saw a jug sitting in the seat beside the man. The police officer asked the man what was in the jug and the man replied “water”. The officer then asked to see the jug. The officer took the jug and smelled the contents. He then told the bootlegger that it was not water but instead wine.…
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Washington and his men had just finished a big battle and were tired and wounded. They were walking for miles looking for a place to stay when they came upon this very small broken down shack. Washington asked the the man who answered the door if he had room to help some of his men as they were tired and sick. The man said, “As you can see, I only have room for one man.” So Washington picked out his…
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Q: When is the only time that a woman calls her husband “handsome”? A: On payday!! (“So hand some over NOW!!”)
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Two smart men (Portuguese) were walking in a farm. One of them saw a “cake” just made by a cow. He said to the other: “I’ll give you $1000 if you eat some of this.” The other agreed, ate some and got the money. After this the man who lost money realised that he could not lose so much money and said: “For such amount I would do the same.” The man who got the money said: “I don’t believe.”…
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During the Cold War many years ago, a young man would ride his bicycle every day from Italy up to the check-point at the Yugoslav border where he would be questioned by the uniformed border-guard. “Where are you going today, Capitalist Scumbag?” asked the guard. “To visit my mother, Sir.” “Step inside. You will be searched,” ordered the guard. The young man was thoroughly searched and released, but the guard remained suspicious. This routine was repeated every day for several…
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One day, George was cleaning out the attic and in one box, he found a claim ticket for a pair of shoes at the local shoe repair shop. What caught his attention was the date on the claim ticket which read June 30, 1989 – nearly ten years ago. Amused by his discovery, George went downstairs and showed the claim ticket to his wife Martha. Scrutinizing the piece of paper, Martha remarked, “Hmmm, I can’t recall if I had any…
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One day a man put his father in a rest home. His father didn’t want to be there but just to please his son he would stay there for a while. The first morning the old man woke up with a boner and immediately after he woke up a beautiful nurse pulled down his pants and started to give him the best blow job he’d ever had. As soon as she was done she cleaned up and left without saying…
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Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, “Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life.” From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, “Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.”
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The psychiatrist was holding a group consultation with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he told them. To the first one, he said, “Your obsession is eating. Why, you’ve even named your daughter Candy.” The second, he said, was obsessed by money. “Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother arose and, taking her little boy by the hand, whispered, “Let’s go, Dick.”
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