Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of debris at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of…
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A man shopping in a supermarket brought his purchase of two cans of dog food to the checkout counter. The cashier asked, “Sir, do you have a dog?” “Yes.” replied the man. “Well, where is it?” asked the cashier. “I left him home.” he answered. “Sorry,” the cashier said, “You can’t buy the dog food if I can’t see the dog. That’s the rules.” The next day he returned to the store and brought some cat food to the checkout.…
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This guy has four daughters who all live at home. One Friday night the doorbell rings. The guy answers it and a kid standing there says “Hi, I’m Freddy. I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re gonna go eat spaghetti. Is she ready?” The man, mildly amused calls down his daughter and the two leave. A few minutes later the doorbell rings again and he answers. A kid standing there says, “Hi, I’m Jim. I’m here to see Kim. We’re…
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During a long rain delay, the baseball announcer filled in some time by sharing some baseball trivia with his color man. “Know who hit the most home runs between 1955 and 1975? I’ll tell you — it was none other than Hank Aaron.” “Know who hit the most RBIs between 1955 and 1975? It was also Hank Aaron.” “And who got hit on the chin with the most balls between 1955 and 1975?” “Hank Aaron?,” ventured the color commentator. “Nope,”…
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A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter, then started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?” She answered herself by saying, “I bought it with the insurance money!” She then said, “Irving, remember that new car you promised me?” She answered again, saying,…
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Q: What does a woman do when she gets home from a Spousal Abuse meeting? A: The dishes, if she knows what’s good for her!
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God created the mule and told him, “you are mule. You will work constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.” The mule answered, “To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 30.” And it was so. Then God created the dog and told him, “You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of…
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Coming back from a month-long business trip to Asia, a wealthy businessman arrived at the airport where he was fetched by his chauffeur named Jim. On the long drive home, the businessman inquired, “So, Jim, has anything happened while I was away?” Jim replied, “No, sir. I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” The businessman said, “Come now, Jim. I have been away for almost a month. Surely something must have happened in all that time.” Thinking for…
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A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy. The little boy says, “It sure is dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball.” Man – “That’s nice.” Boy – “Want to buy it?”…
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An Englishman returns home late one night to find his wife in bed with three men. The stunned Brit says, “‘allo, ‘allo, ‘allo!” His wife the replies, “What? Aren’t you talkin’ to me?”
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