Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There’s a blonde sitting on an airplane when a gentleman walks up and says “Excuse me, miss, but you are sitting in my seat.” The blonde responds, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and remains seated. The guy says, “But you are sitting in MY seat. You need to find your seat.” She once again says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and doesn’t budge. The man is perturbed and calls the flight attendant…
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A Chinese man goes to an optometrist complaining of vision loss. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with your eyes. You have Cataracts,” the doctor says. “No,” says the Chinese man, “I have a Rincoln Continental!”
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator. He lifts the beast up onto the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal”, he says. “I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. When he opens it, I’ll remove my genitals intact. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will agree to buy me a drink. Deal?” The crowd all…
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This man walks into the patent office, places an apple on the desk and says, “I want to patent this apple.” The patent officer informs him that he can’t get a patent on an apple. The gent says, “Taste it.” The officer tastes it and with mild surprise states, “It tastes like an orange. Unfortunately, it still can’t be patented.” Not willing to give up yet, the man asks him to turn it around and taste the other side. The…
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CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…
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One day, not tooooo long ago, Hercules, Sleeping Beauty, and Wilt Chamberlain were arguing with each other on a riverbank. Hercules said he was the perfect person because he was the stongest on earth. Sleeping Beauty said she was because she was the most beautiful. Wilt said he was because he slept with the most women. So the 3 go to some Guru to ask who the perfect person was. Hercules said, “Ha! He said no one is perfect, but…
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Mr. Bailey saw his son’s shiner and demanded, “Scott, who gave you that black eye?” “No one,” replied the spunky lad. “I had to fight for it.”
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Two Aggies went duck hunting. Days later, after having no luck, they decide to buy a couple of specially bred duck hunting dogs. They return to their blind near the lake with their special dogs. Later that morning, ducks fly over. They don’t get any ducks. Hours pass and many ducks fly over but still, they have not killed a single duck. Finally, one Aggie turns to the other, “Do you think we’re throwing them up high enough?”
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It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitor’s favor, the home quarterback finally blew his top. “How many times can you do this to us in a single game?” he screamed. “You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you…
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A young boy is riding his new bike down the street on Christmas morning. A polieman on a horse says to the boy, “Did Santa bring you that bike?” The boy says,”Yes he did.” the officer then pulls out a ticket and says to the boy, ” Next time tell Santa to put reflectors on that bike.” He then gives the boy the ticket. The boy asks the cop, “Did santa bring you that horse?” going along with the child…
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