Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A notorious burglar observes the day-to-day activities of an old lady who is living alone in an apartment as he waits for an opportunity to rob her place if she ever leaves. Sure enough when the old lady goes out to attend an early evening mass, the burglar goes into action and manages to break into her apartment. However, as the burglar is looking for anything to steal, the old lady unexpectedly comes back to the apartment as she forgets…
(0)
Loading...
This is a notice in the mens’ room in my university. University of Tasmania – Office of Occupational Health and Safety: PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE To avoid injury to fingers, please press flush button with flat of hand. In event of finger becoming stuck in tube, call loudly for assistance. Rescuers should obtain a key to enter cleaner’s store, between Ladies’ and Gents’ lavatories. Fingers can then be pushed back from there. This method is also applicable to free the flush button,…
(0)Loading...
The English language is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And…
(2)Loading...
A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put up their hands if they knew the correct sound. “Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked. Cindie put her hand up and said “Moooo!” “Very good,” replied the teacher, “What sound do sheep make?” “Baaa,” answered Jimmy She continues like this for a while. Then she asked, “What sound does a pig make?”…
(3)Loading...
Classroom scene: The teacher walks into her fifth grade class and says: “OK children, today we will not use the textbook.” All the children were happy, especially those who didn’t get their homework done. Teacher goes on to say, “Today we will be talking about colours, and we will use our imagination to talk about colours. Can anyone tell me a story about colours?” An Irish boy raises his hand and starts “My daddy is a policeman and he wears…
(1)Loading...
During a staff meeting on the last working day of 1999, a manager was discussing the company’s preparedness for the Y2K roll-over. Worried that the company’s computers may fail when the year becomes 2000, the manager is requiring every engineer to report to work on first day of January to make sure the computers will not go crazy. His blonde secretary, who was taking down the minutes of the meeting, suddenly raised her hand excitedly and asked if she could…
(1)Loading...
The other day I read that a man was arrested for animal necrofelia. How do you plead in that case? “Gee your honor, I didn’t know the cat was dead when I was fucking him.”
(2)Loading...
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one particular drummer. He had talked and talked and talked with this drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, “When a musician just can’t handle his instrument and doesn’t improve when given help, they take away the instrument and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer.” A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: “And if he can’t handle even…
(2)Loading...
After many years, a young Talmud student who had left the old country for America, returns to visit his family. “But, where is your beard?” asks his mother upon seeing him. “Mama,” he replies, “in American, nobody wears a beard.” “But at least you keep the Sabbath?” Mama asks. “Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath.” “But kosher food, you still eat?” asks Mama. “Mama, in American, it is very difficult to keep kosher.” The old…
(0)Loading...
Mr. Jones, returning from a business trip, was surprised to find his wife in bed with a strange man. Both were nude and looked like they had been doing a lot of hard screwing. “Why, you rotten bastard!” the husband exploded with rage as he grabbed his wife’s lover by the neck. “Wait darling,” said Mrs. Jones. “You know that fur coat I got last winter? This man gave it to me. Remember the diamond necklace you like so much?…
(0)Loading...