Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The parents of a newborn son were devastated to learn that their baby was born with a golden screw in his navel. Surgeons had never seen this before, and fearing it would harm the boy, refused to operate. The parents were very religious and accepted the birth defect as God’s will. The mother never gave up faith, and as her son grew up she prayed daily for God to cure him. The boy was very shy, always hiding his golden-screw…
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Two retired men were sitting in the bar at their local golf club, after an appauling round, in rainy, cold miserable conditions, with a pint of beer each. “That was awful today,” said the first man, staring at the table through his pint glass. “Yeah, it was the worst I’ve ever played,” replied the second. “I wonder, do you think they have golf in heaven? I hope so. Just imagine it, the lush rolling hills, crystal clear lakes, immaculate greens,…
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The statuesque blonde walked into a dinner party on the arm of a scowling tycoon. She took her seat at the dinner table while her escort conversed with other guests. A woman sitting nearby couldn’t help staring at the huge gem hanging from her neck. “Excuse me,” the woman said, “but I must tell you… that is the most gorgeous diamond I’ve ever seen.” “Why, thank you. It’s the Grumpmeyer Diamond.” “I’m surprised I’ve never heard of it”, the woman…
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Smoking helps you lose weight . . . one lung at a time! Tell a man there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it to see. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had struggled so. He said, a bit sheepishly, “I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of this…
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3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in Heaven. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says,”I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful…
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A man was walking along the side of a wooden fence with an insane asylum on the other side. He could hear the patients yelling “thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” and was wondering what was going on. As he walked along the side of the fence, he noticed a hole and thought he would be able to see what was going on. As he stuck his eye up to the hole a finger poked him in the eye. He could then hear…
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There was a big snowfall in Washington, DC. President Clinton was working in the Oval Office and decided to take a break. He walked out onto the balcony and surveyed the beautiful new fallen snow on the lawn. He looked down from the balcony and was astonished to see written in the new snow in piss: “Clinton sucks”. Well, he was very upset, not only by what it said but what it was written with and that someone could get…
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A Dallas police officer stopped a man for speeding and upon approaching the car noticed that that the man had numerous knives on the back seat. The driver responded to the officers inquiries about the knives by saying that he was a circus juggler and they were part of his routine. The officer aked for a demonstration so the juggler complied. At the same time, George W. Bush was passing by and saw the juggling exhibition. He turned to Dick…
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A man is standing trial for the alleged murder of his wife. The presiding judge is reading the charges to the accused. The judge reads, “You are hereby accused of first degree murder for killing your wife by crushing her skull with a hammer…” Just then a male voice from among the courtroom spectators says, “Bloody bastard!” The judge pauses to see who has said that and then he resumes, “How do you plead?” The accused says, “Not guilty, your…
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