Man a man Jokes - page 62

But Y 3K?

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day’s trip he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man notices a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm. Lying to the hotel clerk, he says, “Fancy meeting my ‘wife’ here. I’ll need a…

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Divine Guidance?

This guy decides to go ice fishing one day, so he gets up at 2am to have an early start. When he arrives, he gets out his saw and begins carving away at the ice when all of a sudden he hears an echoing voice, “There are no fish under the ice there.” The dude freaks out looks around but sees no one. So he waits a few minutes then decides there is no one around and keeps carving. A…

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Women’s Clever Answers To Pick-Up Lines

Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?” Woman: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” Man: “Your place or mine?” Woman: “Both. You go to your place and I’ll go to mine.” Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.” Woman: “No thanks. There’s…

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wonderous piggy

one day a guy at an insurance company got a request for insurance for a pig. The guy wanted to know why the pig needed insurance so he went down to the farm to investigate. when he approched the owner and asked him why, the farmer pointed to the pig with only 3 legs. The insurance man(lets call him Joe) asked what happen to the pig. the farmer(lets call him Billy Bob) says,”well one time my little daughter got out…

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Code Word

There was a priest who heard too many confessions of adultery, that he threatened that if one more person was to say the word “Adultery,” he would quit his job as a priest. The citizens used the word FALLEN as a replacement for the word “adultery.” Ten years later, the priest died. A new priest arrived in the town, unaware of the code word. After many weeks of hearing confessions of people falling, the priest went to the mayor. He…

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Unappreciated Bride

A new blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.” “Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.” “No, Mother,” the young woman laments. “I bought a frozen turkey loaf, and he yelled at about the price.” “Well, that surely is being miserly,” the mother agreed. “Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.” “No, Mother, it wasn’t the price of the turkey roll. It…

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Checking it Out

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. “What took you so long to answer?” “I was in bed.” “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”

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Will Work for ??

This homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Sunday morning and set about doing all the chores he’d been putting off for weeks. He’d cleaned the garage, pruned the hedges and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window, “Say, what do you get for yard work?” The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, “The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.”

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Raining Candidates

Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallies in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd–shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily. Suddenly, the skies opened, and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant, along with half a dozen regulars. The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd–shaking hands kissing babies,…

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