Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Jew are eating dinner at a very expensive restaurant. When the check arrives, the Scotsman says, “I’ll take that.” The next day’s headlines read, “FAMOUS JEWISH VENTRILOQUIST BEATEN TO DEATH AT FANCY RESTAURANT.”
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There were 3 women at a bar and they were arguing over which one of them was the loosest. The first woman said, ” My husband can stick two fingers up me.” The second woman said, “Oh, big deal, my husband can stick his whole fist up me.” Then the third woman slid down the bar stool.
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A man and his wife are watching boxing on TV. The husband sighs and says, “I’m disappointed. It was all over in four minutes.” The wife replies, “Good! Now you know how I feel!”
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A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on…
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I once asked my wife, “What would you do, if you came home one day, and caught me in bed with another woman?” She thought a moment and replied, “Why, I’d be so angry, I probably break her white cane and shoot her guide dog!”
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Five of the presidents were taking a cruise when they hit an iceberg. Ford cried: Oh my goodness! What do we do? Reagan said: Man the lifeboats! Carter added: Women and children first. Nixon said: Screw the women and children! And Clinton asked: Do we have time?
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A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle. “And what’s so funny?” the New Yorker demands. “Oh, nothing really, I…
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Two thieves decided to break into a rich man’s house one night. To avoid being seen by anyone, they decided to enter through the chimney. Unaware that the rich man was at home, the first thief began to climb down the chimney, quite noisily. “Who’s there?” asked the rich man. “Meow, meow,” said the first thief, imitating a cat. Convinced that it was only a cat, the rich man went back to watching television. After awhile, the second thief began…
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One day a woman came home to find her husband in bed with another woman. She was furious. The husband saw her and asked to explain: “As I was coming home from work I saw this woman on the side of the road freezing. I brought her home and fed her the food that I made. You didn’t want it because it wasn’t perfect. Then I gave her one of your shirts and a pair of pants you never wear…
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It’s your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within…
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