Man a man Jokes - page 23

Damn Yankees

During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…

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The Creation of Dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog. On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) toserve as potential food for the dog. On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog. On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve…

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Snoring Prevention

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…

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No Ears

Three men were driving through the country when their truck broke down. It was bad weather and they had no place to go. Of course the farmer came along and said they could spend the night with him under one condition. He had a son who had no ears and got very upset if anything was said about it. Later that evening at dinner one of the men kept staring at the boy. The boy, getting upset, asks “What are…

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Nurse Blondie

There was a blonde nurse that worked at a nursing home. She came into the nursing home one morning with this red permanent marker in her breast pocket. The CNA said to her, “Why are you carrying around a red permanent marker in your pocket?” Then she looks at the CNA and adds: “I carry around the red pen in case I have to draw blood!”

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Geez! I’m Tired

One fellow walks up to another and says “Say, how are you doing?” The other chap says “Geez, I’m really tired”. The other man says, “Really, how come?” “Well, my girlfriend and I agreed that we won’t go to bed angry at each other”. The other chap says “so?” “…I’ve been up since Tuesday”….”

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Handicap

Two golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman runs across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear. One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, “What the hell is going on?” The old guy says, “She’s a nymphomaniac from an asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us…

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A Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…

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The Son in Law

An old lady and her husband are walking to their house one night after an evening out on the town. She hears a buzzing noise and searches throughout the house to see what it is but can’t figure it out. So she goes in to her daughter’s room to find her on the end of her bed with a vibrator. The old lady says, “What the hell are you doing!!??” The daughter replies, “Mom, I am 40 years old, I’m…

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