Mak Jokes - page 58

Dad’s Practical Jokes

Parents are embarrassing, Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night, he does something that makes my face go red. Now don’t get me wrong. He is a terrific dad. I love him but sometimes I think he will never grow up. He loves playing practical jokes. This behavior first started one night when Anna came to sleep over. Unknown to me, dad sneaks into my room and puts Doona, our cat, on the spare bed.…

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Trick doggie style

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Does your wife ever… well, you know… does she… well, let you do it doggie style?” asked one of the two. “Well, not exactly,” his friend replied, “She’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.” “Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?” “Well, not exactly. Whenever I make a move, she’s most likely to roll over and play dead.”

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Two Football Jocks Taking an Exam

Two college football players named Bubba and Jed were taking an exam in English Literature. They must pass this exam in order to fulfill the academic requirement. If they fail, they would be dropped from the college varsity team for the whole season. The exam was relatively easy as it consisted mainly of fill-in-the-blank type of answers. However, Bubba was stumped by one particular item. The statement read “Complete the nursery phrase … Ol’ MacDonald had a ______.” Trying as…

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Going to Dallas

There was this man and this woman on a plane and the woman turned to the man and said, “I’m really horny and I want it now.” The man said, “Not now and especially not on this plane.” So the woman makes a suggestion, “You un-zip your pants and I’ll do the rest.” So the man finally agrees and she sits on his lap. The woman decides to ask the people in front of her, “Where are you guys going?”…

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Lil’ Johnny on Politics

Lil’ Johnny goes up to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well, Son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the bread winner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Mummy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny– well, consider her as the working class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him the future.…

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Mystery Roses

Smith goes to the doctor. He has a string hanging out of his ass. The doctor says that this is most unusual. “I don’t know what to make of it. I have no diagnosis. Perhaps we should just pull the string and see what happens.” The learned doctor proceeded to pull the string. He pulled and pulled, and out came a dozen long-stemmed American Beauty roses. “My God,” proclaimed the doctor, “I’ve never seen that before. Where do you suppose…

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Wedding Day Revenge

This actually IS true. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it! Only in South Carolina!! Bitter sweet revenge. It’s about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them…

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Breast Man

A guy goes to see a psychiatrist. He says, “Doc, I think I’m hung up on women’s breasts.” The psychiatrist says, “We’ll see. I’ll give you a quick word association test. I’ll say something, and then you say the first thing that comes into your mind. Shall we begin?” The guy nods his head. The doctor says, “Eggs.” The guy says, “Boobs.” The doctor says, “Orange.” The guy says, “Hooters.” The doctor says, “Grapefruit.” The guy says, “Jugs.” The doctor…

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Read JokeBreast Man