Jennifer
Jennifer Flowers was being interviewed by a reporter, when he asked her if she and Clinton did the same things that he and Monica had done. Ms. Flowers looked at the reporter and said: “Close, but no cigar!”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
M ms Jokes - page 73
Toughening Up
My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing. One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulders muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, he would extend his arms straight out to his sides and…
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Harold and Bonnie’s Honeymoon
A sailor and his bride arrived at the honeymoon suite of their hotel. The bride had not ‘gone all the way’ before and was very nervous. Her mother had told her it would be very painful, but that it was her wifely duty. “Just make the best of it, as I’ve always had to,” she said. The young sailor showed her things the bride had never been ‘warned about’ by her mother which the young wife bravely agreed to but…
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Take up HER hobby….
The late comedian Redd Foxx used to tell the story about the time he and his wife were having problems, due to his career. His bride felt that he wasn’t really interested in her activities outside the home, so he went to a psychologist for some advice. After hearing his story, the doctor said, “Show some interest in what SHE likes. Find out what she enjoys MOST, and enthusiastically pursue it as YOUR avocation, too!” Redd promised that he would.…
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Kid’s Bible Stories
The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…
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Marriage Made in Heaven
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven’s Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he left. The couple…
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In hiding
It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a Jew in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.” “But I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed.” “I admit that wasn’t good, but you did it for a good cause.” “Oh thank you Father; that eases…
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Wrong Bitch
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…
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Honeymoon Pictures
On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. “Oh, oh, aaahhh,” he exclaims. “My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture.” Puzzled she asks, “MY picture?” He answers, “Yes my…
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You’ve been WAITING for THIS one!
A Jehova’s Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint, high pitched, “Come In”. He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door. He knocked again and heard again the high pitched “Come In”. As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him. As he plastered himself against the wall he called out for help. Again, he heard the “Come In”. He slid down the…
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