Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There is a parrot that swore like a sailor. He could swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird’s foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, “QUIT IT!” But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. The…
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Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were invited to the Colonel’s home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel’s wife and vice versa. After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound of splashing echoed through the family room, his wife was greatly embarrassed and attempted to apologize, to which the Colonel’s wife smiled demurely and said,…
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There was once a truck driver who would amuse himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer, he would swerve to hit him, there would be a loud “THUD”, and then he’d swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. The driver thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over. “Where are you…
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King Edward VIII of Great Britain abdicated the throne in 1936 to marry American divorcee Wallis Warfield Simpson, thereafter bearing the title of Duke of Windsor. Subsequently addressing a group of friends on the subject of remaining on friendly terms with one’s wife, he remarked, “Of course, “I do have a slight advantage over the rest of you. It helps in a pinch to be able to remind your bride that you gave up a throne for her.”
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An airoplane is about to crash land. The pilot yells over the intercom to the passengers to throw something out the window so that the crash won’t be as bad. A young irish blonde throws out a case o whisky, a big english bloke lobs out a case o cigs and an Iraq phsyco throws out a bomb. Five minutes later a women is walking along a street. She see’s a little girl crying. “What’s the matter dear?” she asks.…
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Over drinks one evening, two gentlemen were having a discussion about the charms or lack there-of of Pamela Anderson. “I say she’s highly over-rated,” said one. “Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs, those great boobs, the rest of her figure and what have you got?” “My wife,” said the other with a heavy sigh . . . .
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One day this old man goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I don’t know what’s wrong, everywhere I touch it hurts. The doctor asks the old man to show him. The old man takes his finger and starts to poke himself af various places on his body. The doctor noticed that everytime the old man poked himself, he would grimace with pain, so he proceded to take some X-rays. A short while later, the doctor returns with the results…
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to…
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The following is from an ACTUAL 1950’s Home Economics textbook for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life. 1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal – on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the propects of a good meal are part of the…
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Top ten sign’s your at a Redneck wedding… 10. Rehearsal dinner held at hooters 9. Instead of friends of the Bride, friends of the Groom, Usher’s ask Ford or Chevy 8. Bride’s maid’s pink tub top’s, Bride’s Groom’s Travis Tritt T-shirt’s 7. Phrase “i do” replaced with phrase “I herd dat!” 6. The “Wedding March” song performed by Hank Williams Jr. 5. Minster asked “Who giveth this woman to be married” some guy in the back stand’s up and yell’s…
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