Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
It’s a murder mystery. Can you finger the perpetrator? A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a number of the other fellow workers. Based on past scrapes with the law, many of the following workers were considered prime suspects: * The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged. * The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame another man one time. * The glazier went to great panes to…
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A man walks into a Chinese shop, looking at all of the curious, exotic things in there. He sees a brass rat sitting on a shelf, and asks the shop keeper how much it is. The shop keeper says, “Ten dollars for rat, one thousand dollars for story about rat”. The man replies, “Well, here’s ten bucks for the rat, keep your dumb story”. “You’ll be back!”, the shop keeper said with a knowing, evil laugh. The man left the…
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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A very shy man is with all his college buddies in a bar one day, and he notices a very attractive girl sitting by herself. After gathering enough courage, he finally gets up and asks her if he chould buy her a drink, whereby she screams, “NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!” The man, after being humiliated goes back to his buddies and sits down. Ten minutes later, the woman comes over to him and apologizes to him…
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A retired gentleman spent most afternoons at the local golf course. Every day he would spend about three hours out on the course, playing a round by himself. When he would return to the clubhouse, the resident pro would inquire about his score. “Ed, how’d you shoot today?” to which the man would always reply, “Another perfect par.” The golf pro (being of average intelligence) knew that there was no way the old man was shooting straight par every day.…
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A wild-eyed man, dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand inside his coat, entered the psychiatrist’s office and nervously exclaimed, “Doctor, I need your help right away.” “I can see that,” retorted the doctor. “Lie down on that couch, and tell me your problem.” “I don’t have any problem,” the man snapped. “In fact, as Emperor of France, I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power–everything! But I’m afriad my wife, Josephine, is in deep…
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AFTER TEN BEERS AND 12 BRANDYS VAN DECIDES TO CHECK WHETHER HE CAN STILL WALK HOME. PUSHING HIMSELF AWAY FROM THE BAR COUNTER HE TESTS HIS LEGS , BANG, HE FALLS DOWN. VAN THEN TRY’S AGAIN, BANG HE FALLS DOWN.HE THEN DECIDES TO CRAWL OUT TO THE LAMPPOST IN FRONT OF THE BAR,PULLING HIMSELF UP TO TRY ONE MORE TIME. BANG FLAT ON HIS BUTT. REALISING HE ONLY LIVES AROUND THE CORNER HE DECIDES TO CRAWL HOME. THE NEXT MORNING…
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Y-to-K Date Change Project Status “Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the “Y-to-K” date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data…
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A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today. The teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young, did they?” Grandpa replies, “Nope.” His grandson says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?” Grandpa replies,…
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Farmer Dan buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for bacon, ham, etc… After a few weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant, and he calls the vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn’t have the slightest clue as to what this means, but not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs became pregnant. The vet…
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