Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.” The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the…
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A little boy was dressed up for Halloween as a pirate. When he knocked on the door, a man came holding candy. The little boy said with a lisp, “I’m a piwate, can you tell, can you tell?” The man said, “Yes, but where are your buccaneers?” The boy replied, “They’re on my buckin’ head, open your buckin’ eyes!”
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10. Child can now open your blouse by himself. 9. The kid starts burping up silicone. 8. Child has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue. 7. The little one keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt. 6. Child demands that you express for his cafe latte. 5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine. 4. After each session, you both have a smoke. 3. Child invites his friends over for dinner. 2. You feel an uncontrollable…
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Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went…
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The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about THIS one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She…
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There is this young attractive married woman who wants expensive jewelry, designer clothes and fast cars but her husband is not so well off. One day, she comes home late wearing a gold necklace. Her husband, who has been waiting for her, asks, “Where did you get that necklace.” The woman says, “I won it at the bingo.” Three days later, the woman again comes home late wearing a mink coat. Her husband asks, “Where did you get that mink…
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“I don’t want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.” ?Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000 “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”?LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 “If I’m the president, we’re going to…
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One day, a man walked into a bar with his pet giraffe. He said to the bartender, “Could I have a drink for myself and one for my giraffe, please?” The bartender, not being in the habit of serving alcohol to animals, hesitated at first but eventually gave in to the persistant pleadings of the man. The man quickly downed his drink, as did the giraffe. He asked the bartender again for a round of drinks. The bartender complied, thinking,…
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The eighty-eight-year-old millionaire married an eighteen-year- old country girl. He was quite content, but after a few weeks she told him that she was going to leave him if she didn’t get some loving real soon. He had his chauffeured limousine take him to a high-priced specialist who studied him and then gave him a shot of spermatozoa. “Now look,” the doctor said, “the only way you’re going to get it up is to say “beep,” and then to get…
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Bubba’s old lady had been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. So, he brought her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, “Hey, Bubba! You just had you a son!” Bubba got all excited, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, “Hold on, son! We ain’t finished up here yet!” The doctor then delivered a little…
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