Lady of the house Jokes - page 5

In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…

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When there an unexpected knock on my door, I first opened the peephole and asked, “Who’s there?” “Parcel Post, with a package for the Drexhages.” “Where’s the package?” I asked suspiciously. The deliveryman held it up. “Could I see some ID?” I said, still not convinced. “Lady,” he replied, wearily, “if I wanted to break into your house, I’d probably just use these.” And he pulled out the keys I had left in the front door.

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Zsa Zsa Gabor once appeared on a television program in which guest celebrities attempted to solve viewers’ conjugal problems. The first question came from a young lady: “I’m breaking my engagement to a very wealthy man who has already given me a sable coat, diamonds, a stove and a Rolls Royce. What should I do?” “Give back the stove,” advised Zsa Zsa. (It was Zsa Zsa who once claimed to be a good housekeeper. After each divorce, she kept the…

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