Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man named Joe was traveling through the countryside and decided to stop at a bar for a drink. Inside, some of the local patrons were watching the evening news on TV. As a picture of Hillary flashed on the screen, Joe said, “There’s a horse’s ass.” Right after he said this, a man walked up to him and knocked him off his stool. A few seconds later, the news showed Chelsea Clinton. Joe said, “There’s another horse’s ass.” As…
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Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. “Who is it?” calls one of the…
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A drunk staggers into a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box. He remains quiet for several minutes, so the bewildered priest coughs to get his attention. Still, the man says nothing. Finally, the priest knocks on the wall three times to get the man to speak. “No use knockin’, fella,” says the drunk. “There’s no paper in this one either.”
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An attorney was driving through the country side when his car failed him. He looked under the hood and knocked a few items around with a hammer. In the process, he knocked off a gas line and got his arm soaked with gas before getting it back on. Discouraged, he attempted to start his car. Much to his surprise, it started and he headed for the nearest town for a permanent repair. To celebrate his success, he lit up a…
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One day a man was driving down the road & saw a pig with a wooden leg, so he stopped to see what was up. So he knocked on the door & a lady answered. He said, “Where did you get a pig with a wooden leg?” The lady said, “Well, we got him from Czechoslavakia… Anyway, soon after we got him, he was sniffing around, so we thought we would drill — $500,000 worth of royalties in oil. A…
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He…
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Sam sees the postman once a week, and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace and quiet. After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, he’s finishing dinner one day when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there. “Name’s Enoch… Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge… Having a party Saturday… Thought you’d like to come.” “Great,” says Sam, “after 6 months of this I’m ready…
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A new priest saying mass for the first time was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor told him that he appeared nervous but that he had some advice for him. He told the new priest that he always puts a glass of vodka next to the water glass. ?If I get nervous I drink from that glass? the Monsignor told the priest. The following Sunday the priest…
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A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. “Guaranteed like heck,” he thinks to himself, “But let’s see what they think they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he…
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There are many more ants than humans in the world, and they belong to numerous different species. Some of the more common are: 1. The ants you find in your kitchen the morning after you leave something sweet or greasy on the counter. These are called Brown Ants or Sugar Ants. 2. Big red and black ants found outdoors in the Southwest. These are very aggressive ants, with large pincers. They are called Fire Ants. 3. In South America you…
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