Knock on Jokes - page 8

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful valley, where the grass grew green and the people were happy. A river flowed through the center of this valley, providing life and water to all who needed it. Also in this valley lived the Twids. The Twids were friendly people, but they were very small. In fact, Twids were about the height of an average person’s knees. Anyway, these twids lived happily and in harmony with the world around them. On…

(0)
Loading...

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. “Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man. “Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack.…

(0)
Loading...

Fred knocks on his friends door. The wife answers and he asks, “Is John home?” She says, “No, but come on in and wait, he should be home anytime.” She offers him a beer and after about 3 beers, John still hasn’t shown up yet. Fred says, “Hey I’ll give ya a $100 if I can see one of your tits.” Well, she thinks, “Boy that would help with the rent. So she pulls up her shirt and flashes him…

(0)
Loading...

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when, out into the road, strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car with a cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and knocked on the door. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously, said, “I think I just killed your rooster. Please allow me to replace him.” “Suit yerself,” he replied. “The hens are ’round back.”

(0)
Loading...

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? Well, you’re having fun now.

(0)
Loading...

How to Tell if Your Grandpa Listens to Too Much Rap Music: ?1998 Larry Weaver 1. Refers to his Craftmatic Adjustable bed as a hoopty, and wants hydraulics installed. 2. Gets his dentures capped in gold. 3. Insists that Martha Raye is “bout it, bout it.” 4. Gets excited when his pacemaker beeps because he thinks a ho is paging him. 5. Has “Fubu” crocheted into his sweater. 6. Calls his childhood “the hard knock life,” and begin stories with…

(1)Loading...

A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, and a real mean and tough-looking lady opens the door. Before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet, exclaiming, “Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn’t do wonders cleaning up that bovine manure, I’ll eat them!.” She turns to him with a smirk on her face and says, “You want ketchup on that?” The…

(0)
Loading...

Man walks into a bar. This man is carring a big, black, briefcase type of bag. He sits down at the bar and orders a drink. He removes a thimble from his pocket, pours a little of his drink in this thimble, and puts the thimble inside the bag. Bartender gets a little nosey, and asks what’s in the bag. Man holds up his finger as if to say “wait”, and begins to open the case at the top. He…

(2)Loading...

A young man was invited to the office party, and told it was fancy dress. Wanting to impress his co-workers he racked his brains to come up with an original idea. The night of the party arrived. He knocked at the door and entered into the room. Not only was he stark naked but his girlfriend, who he was giving a piggy-back to, was also stark naked. The office manager raced up to him and said ‘WHAT ON EARTH ARE…

(0)
Loading...