Joke man Jokes - page 4

A Jewish Mother’s Day Joke

Three Jewish immigrant brothers named Moshe, Aaron and Daniel, had a dinner reunion to celebrate their fifteen years stay in America. Since Mother’s Day was just around the corner, they were discussing the gifts they would be giving their Momma back home in Israel. Moshe the eldest brother said, “I had a mansion built in Jerusalem and Momma would be moving into it on Mother’s Day.” Aaron the middle brother said, “I bought a special edition Mercedes Benz for Momma…

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Music Jokes

Q: How many tuba players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to drink ’till the room spins. Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None they can’t get that high. Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to hold the bulb while the world revolves around her. A: Four. One to screw…

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Christmas Joke

At this fancy hotel in Chicago, there was a chess tornament going on. That night, some of the participants had gathered in the lobby to disscus what had gone on that day. After awhile, they had gotten very loud and the manager came out to complain. “Hey, shut up or get out!” he yelled at them. “Well why?” asked one of the chess players. “Because I hate chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!” he shouted.

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JOKE LIST

Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer? A prostitute, they can clean their crack and sell it again ******************************** What do bungee jumping and a prostitute have in common? They’re both cheap, they last only a few seconds, and if the rubber band breaks, you’re dead. ******************************** How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? The joystick is wet. ******************************** What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet…

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Some funny blonde jokes

Q & A Q:How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A:Tell him a joke on Thursday. Q:A blonde is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A:Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q:Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses? A:Because he didn’t want them shitting in the streets during parades. Q:Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? A:They always forget the…

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The Triplet Joke

This particular set of triplets were still inside their mother. They were having a conversation about what they were going to be when they grow up. The first one said, “I’m going to be an electrician because it’s dark in here!” The second said, “I’m going to be a plumber because I am tired of all this water.” The third said, “I’m going to be a boxer.” The other two asked him,”Why are you going to be a boxer?” He…

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A one-track joke….

The engineer of a train passing through Poland could see no light because the power had been knocked out by a severe ice storm. “We’re running out of coal,” he said to his trainman, “but I think we’re coming to Gdansk or Danzig, whatever they call it now. Let’s stop and send the porter out to buy more fuel. Can you see a sign on the depot that says ‘Gdansk’ in this dim light?” “No”, replied the trainman, “it appears…

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Lots of Little Johnny jokes

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? Class: Little Johnny! —- Teacher: Are you chewing gum? Little Johnny: No, I’m Little Johnny. —- Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? Little Johnny: I get up early. —- Teacher; Didn’t you promise to behave? Little Johnny: Yes, sir. Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?…

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Travel Joke

A woman wanted to visit Barbados, so she rang a travel agency. “How long will it take to fly to Barbados?” she asked. “Just a minute,” the travel agent said and went to consult his timetable. “Thank you,” said the woman & hung up.

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What A Single Woman Wants In A Man

ORIGINAL List (Before she’s 40 years old) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape 7. Dresses with Style 8. Appreciates the Finer Things 9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises 10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover REVISED List (When she’s 40 years old and beyond) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public 3. Works steady 4. Doesn’t nod off while she’s emoting 5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes…

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