Jo jo Jokes - page 75

Reverse Roles

Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman’s work! But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was…

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No Bull

A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. “What’s this?” he asks. “Cojones, se?or,” the waiter replies. “What are cojones?” the man asks. “Cojones,” the waiter explains, “are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon.” At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to…

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Puppies for Sale!

One day while Bill Clinton was doing his morning jogging he noticed a little boy standing outside the White House gates. As curiosity got the best of him, Bill jogged over to the gates to see what the little boy was doing. As he approached the gates Bill was taken by surprise when he noticed a sign saying “Democratic Dogs For Sale”. Bill asked the boy about the dogs he was trying to sell. “What’s up son?” Bill asked. To…

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Toothbrush Salesman

Stuttering John was, once again, rathered embarrassed at the toothbrush company’s monthly sales meeting. “How many tooth brushes did you sell this month?” asked his sales manager. “I ssssold fffour tttooothbrushes llast month, bboss,” stammered John. “That doesn’t cut the mustard,” shouted the sales manager, “you need to come up with a gimmick if you want to be a successful salesman!’ “Wwhat’s a gggiimmick?” asked John. “You know,” said the sales manager, “anything that will make the customer buy your…

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The Bill of NO RIGHTS

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole…

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Farm Boy

A farm girl brought a bull to a neighboring pasture in order that it might service a cow there. The farm boy in charge of the cow joined her and they watched the process. After a while, the farm boy turned to the farm girl and said, “That just makes me itch to do the same thing. How about it?” And the farm girl said indifferently, “Go ahead, it’s your cow.”

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Grandpa Clueless

Grandma walks into the laundry where she sees gramps with one hand pulling “Mr.Johnson” right out straight on the ironing board. In his other hand he has a can and is spraying that “one eyed wonder worm” for all it is worth. Grandma screams, “Just what the hell do you think you are doing with my starch?” “It’s ok, hon,” says gramps, “I heard on TV to keep it hard I should use Niagara.” Granny just sighed and shook her…

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IRS Employee visits the Doctor

IRS Worker: It’s been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable. Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you? IRS Worker: I sure did. The bottle said “Keep tightly closed.” (PS — Hey, I know the fact that the patient is an IRS employee does NOT make the joke any funnier for YOU, but I’m not gonna turn down ANY opportunity to diss those slimy bastards!!)

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Hair Like Yours

Jane got a new job as a stylist at a beauty salon. During her second week on the job, a bald woman walked into the salon and said to Jane. “I’ve tried everything to make my hair grow, and nothing works! I’m a rich woman–I’ll give you $25,000 if you can make my hair look just like yours.” “No problem,” said Jane, and quickly shaved her own head.

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