Irs Jokes - page 82

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.. PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChristmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

A Southern View of Yankees

ARE NORTHERNERS “BLUE-NECKS”? By now I’m sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF: 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to cook outside.” 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! 3. You don’t have any problems pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce” correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. 5. You don’t know…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeA Southern View of Yankees

Mommy’s White Hair

One day, a little girl is watching her mother load the dishwasher. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She asks her mother, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mommy?” Mommy replies, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for awhile and then asked, “Mommy, how come…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMommy’s White Hair

The Big Game Hunter

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Big Game Hunter

What’s Yours is Ours

At a small parish in rural New England, there lived a priest and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.” The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhat’s Yours is Ours

Teaching Math

Math Education ============ Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set “L” of lumber for a set “M” of money. The cardinality of set “M”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTeaching Math

Call Guinness

Three midgets were sitting at a tavern one afternoon. One of the midgets, sat quietly,staring at his hands for the longest time. Before long his friend asked him,” Hey, what the hell are you doing?” “Well”, he exclaimed, “I was just noticing that I have the smallest hands of anyone I have ever seen!” ” Oh yeah”, said his partner, “you think that’s bad you should see my feet” Just then the third midget returned from the restroom and questioned,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCall Guinness

Why Bras Are Better Than Men

They’re supportive. They’re uplifting. They help you to achieve new heights. You expect to find them in your underwear drawer. If they’re too uptight, it’s easy to loosen them up. You can let them under your shirt on a first date. It’s legal to lock them in the dryer. They coordinate with your underwear (not to be confused with men, who are coordinated once in your underwear). If you outgrow them, it’s easy to throw them away and get a…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeWhy Bras Are Better Than Men

Boy Gets Even

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally, he got around to the youngster who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car. “What TOOK you so long, son?” he asked. “The man waited on everybody else in the store before me,” the boy replied. “Why?” “I don’t know, but I wound and set all the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBoy Gets Even

3 Coded Messages for Mrs. Smith

Mrs. Smith has three daughters who are all getting married within the same month. She tells each one of her daughters to write back about their married life. To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to using newspaper advertisements as a “code” to let the mother know how their love lives are going. The first one gets married and the second day a telegram arrives with a single…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke3 Coded Messages for Mrs. Smith