Ins Jokes - page 76

family planning

A man went to the store and bought a few eggs for his breakfast but when he got home, he found all the shells empty. He went to the shopkeeper to ask for an explanation. The shopkeeper checked all the eggs in the shop and surprisingly they were all empty too. Perplexed, both of them went to the poultry farm to check where this problem was actually taking place. They found a hen that had just laid an egg, but…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokefamily planning

Blind Guy

A blind guy walks into the bar, picks up his seeing eye dog, and spins it around in the air. The bartender looks at the guy and says “Man, what in the heck are you doing?” the blind guy replies, “oh, just looking around.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBlind Guy

Son of a Beech

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. As the sprout grows into a young sapling, the two trees began to wonder which of them the small tree would take after. Then one day a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSon of a Beech

Medical Mural

Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when it was learned that he recently performed a successful sight-saving operation on the wife of the country’s most celebrated pop artist. In addition to paying the doctor’s usual fee, he had gratefully insisted on painting one of his contemporary masterpieces across an entire wall of the doctor’s waiting room. The mural turned out to be an immense multi-colored picture of…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMedical Mural

If an OS Ran an Airline

IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN THE AIRLINES – by J. Hovind UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about WHAT kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIf an OS Ran an Airline

Teena and Piddles

A little girl named Teena has a cat named Piddles, and one day Piddles dies. Teena runs to her father with tears in her eyes and says, “DAD PIDDLES IS DEAD!!!” Her dad says, “Oh I’m so sorry that that had to happen.” Tenna sniffs, “Dad, how c-come Piddles legs and arms are sticking up in the air?” The dad having no idea, uses his quick wit and says, “Well, this way when Jesus comes down to get her he…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTeena and Piddles

Political Correctness In The Workplace

One morning, the owner of a diner gathers all four of his employees and tells them, “Business has been so bad these days that I am forced to fire one of you.” The black dishwasher is the first to speak up, “Well, I’m the only black around here and you wouldn’t want to get into that.” The pregnant waitress warns, “As the only woman in your employment, I can sue you for sexual discrimination.” Crossing his arms, the old cook…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePolitical Correctness In The Workplace

Life stinks, when….

A black cat crosses your path and drops dead. You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife. The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm. Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft. You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment. Your children’s school calls to surrender. The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice. Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map. Your plants…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLife stinks, when….

Marital Bliss

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you know…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMarital Bliss

SIX DOUBLE VODKAS

A guy walks into a bar one day and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” “Wow!” says the barman, “You must have had one hell of a day.” “Yep. I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day, the same guy walks into the bar and asks for another six double vodkas. “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too,” he explains. On the third day, the guy walks into the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSIX DOUBLE VODKAS