Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
As they drove through the training area on their annual inspection, the proud Officer in Charge of the training base waved a hand toward the field and said to the General, “We are extremely proud of our camoflauge training, Sir. Our soldiers blend into the background, completely invisible to the enemy. As a matter of fact, there are over a hundred men hidden in this field and I’m sure even a veteran soldier like yourself cannot detect one . .…
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Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have happened since the beginning of the month! (While full of hope, I wrote you a letter.) I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I absolutely wrecked my brain studying all year! Not only was I first in my class, but I…
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Name:Woman Symbol:WO Atomic weight:(Don’t go there) Physical Properties:Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties:Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Also able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage:Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful…
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Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking; the other, cleaning.
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Once there was this officer who heard a sneeze behind him from a group of four soldiers who were under his command so he went to them and asked, “Who sneezed?” but no one answered. So he asked again, but they were afraid to tell him; so he got MAD, and asked the first man, “Who sneezed?” When he didn’t answer, he shot him. Then asked the second one who didn’t know what to do, so he shot him. The…
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EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE AUTOMATED IN THE FUTURE. Even Emergency 911: “Thank you for calling Emergency 911.If you’re being murdered, press 1. If you’re suffering from a split personality, press 2,3 and 4. If you’re battling Satan, press 666. If you are being assaulted,press pound,pound,pound. If you are already dead, stay on the line, and an operator will be with you shortly.”
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Q. Whats the definition of disgusting? A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny’s pussy and sucking out thirteen. Q. What’s the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? A. Getting her out of the wheelchair! Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again! Q. Why do men pay…
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It was 5 o’clock in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walked in and bellowed, “This is a birthday suit inspection! I wanna see you all formed up outside and butt naked now!” The soldiers quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks. The sergeant walked out and yelled, “Close up the ranks and…
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Two drunks, Hawthorne and Woods, wake up one morning. Woods says, “How the hell are we gonna get drunk today? All I’ve got is forty cents.” Hawthorne says, “Gimme the money, I’ve got an idea.” He goes into a deli, comes out with a hot dog and says, “Come on. Let’s go to the bar.” When they get to the bar, Hawthorne pulls down Woods’ zipper, sticks in the hot dog, and pulls the zipper up tight enough to hold…
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A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating-looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. “Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing,” she said. “So would I,” replied the technician. “It’s a floor-cleaning machine.”
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