Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little Christmas shopping with Jan, his regular saleswoman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his browsing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “OSCAR! OSCAR! I…
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The baby bear looks into his little bowl and it’s empty. He says, “Who’s been eating my porridge?” The Papa bear looks into his big bowl and it’s empty. He says, “Who’s been eating my porridge?” The Mama bear yells from the kitchen, “Will you assholes please shut up? I haven’t made the fucking porridge yet.”
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Bill walks into a downtown bar in Washington and there’s a band playing. He goes up to the band at a break and asks if he can play his saxophone in the band. The band leader says no. Bil says, “Please can I play my sax?” Again the band leader says no. Bill says, “I’m the President, you have to let me play!” The band gets mad and says, “No, now get out of here.” Bill turns around and starts…
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An 83-year-old Hillbilly woman was examined by her Doctor. After he was done checking her over, he complimented her on her excellent health and said, “Do you and Jake still have intercourse?” The lady thought a second and said, “Let me ask Jake, afore I answer.” She hobbles out to the waiting room and says to her hubby, “Jake, the Doc wants to know iffin we still have intercourse. Do we?” “No, my dear,” Jake responded, “We now have Blue…
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!” The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.” Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re…
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A cowboy and an Indian were out on the plains looking for buffalo. The Indian puts his ear to the ground and says, “Buffalo come.” The cowboy asks, “How do you know?” The Indian replies, “Face is sticky”
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1) Yo momma’s so fat she’s got more crack than Harlem! 2) Yo momma’s so stupid she tried to take a Chia pet for a walk! 3) Yo momma’s so stupid she thought Hamburger Helper came with somebody! 4) Yo momma’s arm pits are so hairy she looks like she has Don King in a headlock! 5) Yo momma’s so cheap she charged admission to the Thanksgiving dinner! 6) Yo momma’s so stupid she tried to study for a blood…
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A man was driving along when he saw a sign that said “Yard Sale Today”, so he decided to check it out. He wandered around for a while, not seeing anything he wanted, and then his eye fell upon a beautiful vase. He decided to ask how much it was. “How much for this vase?” he asked. “Ten dollars.” “Would you take five?” “Well I don’t know, it is a good vase.” “But five is all I have.” “Well, okay.”…
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A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: “If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.”
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The teacher asked Little Johnny if he had to go to the potty because he was fidgeting in his seat. Johnny said, “Man, if I had to take a dump, I’d pull down my pants and go anywhere I damn pleased.” “But Johnny,” said the teacher. “Remember, good boys always wash their hands after taking a poop.” “Why?” replied Johnny. “I ain’t gonna eat it.”
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