Ing Jokes - page 52

Illegal Lobster Fishing

After a day of fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden, who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters. They are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobsters jump out, and I take them for a walk, only to return for them at the end…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeIllegal Lobster Fishing

mating call

Q: What’s the mating call of a blonde? A: I am so drunk! Q: What’s the mating call of an ugly blonde? A: I said, I am sooo drunk!!

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokemating call

Why cybersex is better than the real thing

10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier than changing your real name. 9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional. 8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard. 7. You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself. 6. Viagra! Who needs Viagra? 5. Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends. 4. Three words: No shotgun weddings. 3. All guys look like George Clooney…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhy cybersex is better than the real thing

Closing Time

A bartender is closing for the night when there’s a knock at the back door. When he answers, a dirty-looking homeless guy asks him for a toothpick. The bartender is a little surprised, but he gives him a toothpick and the guy walks away. A few minutes later, there’a a second knock at the door. When he answers, there’s another homeless guy outside who asks for a toothpick. The second man gets his toothpick, and off he goes. A few…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeClosing Time

Burning Building

Alex, Roy and David escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to Alex, ?Jump! Jump! It?s your only chance to survive!? Alex jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The fireman laugh as he slams into the pavement like a tomato. ?C?mon! Jump! You gotta jump!? say the firemen to Roy. ?Oh no! You?re gonna pull the blanket away!?…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBurning Building

Fast Driving, Fast Talking

Did you hear about the kid who was pulled over for speeding? The cop got out of his car, and the young man rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The guy replied, “Yeah, well, I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way with a warning, but no ticket.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFast Driving, Fast Talking