Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Men think computers should be referred to as females, just like ships, because: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message “Bad command or file name” is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, I’m certainly not going to tell you.” 4. Your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5.…
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Three people were trying to get into heaven. St. Peter asked the first one, “Who’s there?” “It’s me, Albert Jones,” the voice replied. St. Peter let him in. St Peter then asked the second one the same question, “Who’s there?” “It’s me, Charlie Smith,” And St. Peter let him in. He finally asked the third one, “Who’s there?” “It is I, Verla Mara,” answered the third person. “Oh, great!” muttered St. Peter. “Another one of those English teachers.”
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What do you call 3 blondes sitting around a Christmas tree? Ho, ho, ho
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A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig von Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backwards! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.…
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A butcher was about to close up shop one night when a dog walked in, carrying a paper bag in its mouth. The butcher tried to shoo the dog away, but it wouldn’t leave. Instead it set the bag down and barked at it. So the butcher looked inside of the bag, and found some money and a note. The note said: 1 lb Italian sausage 2 lbs Pork chops So the butcher filled the order, made change for the…
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One day a boy was walking home from school when he came across an Indian and an elephant. The Indian noticed the little boy and said, “This elephant tell how old you are.” And the boy said, “Yeah, right!” Then the elephant stompped his feet ten times and the boy said, “Yes I am ten years old!” So he went home and told his mom and the mom went to the Indian with the elephant and the Indian said, “This…
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Fashion model, Twiggy, of the 70s, decided that she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered this upscale department store and approached the saleslady in Lingerie, “Do you have a Size 28AAA-AAA-AAA bra?” The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so Twiggy left the store and proceeded to another department store where she was rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in…
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A Cowboy enters a restaurant in Dallas and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her — knowing that if she accepts it, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send…
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A guy and his beautiful girlfriend go into to this bar. The guy sits down and the beautiful girl tells her boyfriend that she is going to the bar to order her favorite mixed drink. She walks up to the bar to order the drink and along comes this drunk guy slurring, “Damn, baby, you are so fine, I would love to suck on those tits of yours!” She replies, “How dare you talk to me that way, my boyfriend…
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The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book she said: “I bet you’re going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen’s Ball.” He replied, “No, Highway Patrolmen don’t have balls.” There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he’d said. He then closed his book, got back…
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