Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Traffic was excessively heavy at an intersection in New York City. A very obviously pregnant woman, stepped right out into traffic to cross the street and the screeching of brakes could be heard for blocks. One irate truck driver leaned out his window and yelled: “Hey Lady!! You can get knocked DOWN, too!”
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After 40 years, Mother finally got her citizenship papers and proudly registered to vote. Well, Mother received a notice to report for jury duty; and, to our surprise, was not only selected for a jury, but was elected the foreman. It was a criminal case. A husband had shot his wife’s lover, but only grazed his arm. The jury was out for over four hours before returning. Everyone waited with bated breath, as the judge asked my mother whether the…
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If 99.9% is good enough then… 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily 114,500 mismatched pairs of shoes will be shipped/year 18,322 pieces of mail will be mishandled/hour 2,000,000 documents will be lost by the IRS this year 2.5 million books will be shipped with the wrong covers Two planes landed at Chicago’s O’Hare airport will be unsafe every day. 315 entries in Webster’s Dictionary will be misspelled 20,000 incorrect drug prescriptions will be written this year…
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a man takes his dog to the vet and asks why he is so ill.The vet replies your dog is very old,i think we’ll have to put him down.The man says,ive had him fifteen years,hes my best buddy,i want some tests done! The vet replies,okay we’ll give him a blood test. The results come back suggesting the dog has to be put down and the vet tells him this.The man says i’m not happy about it,can we run more tests?…
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Once upon a time there was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body (it’s a man thing), when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. He promptly went to the beach, completely undressed, and buried himself in the sand,…
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Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an argument about whether boys are better than girls. After a while Johnny stands up and pulls down his shorts saying, “Boys are better than girls ‘cos you haven”t got one of these!!” Jane looks at him in astonishment as she knows that she hasn’t got one of those between her legs. She bursts out crying and rushes inside to her mother. A little while later she…
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A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight, and he dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great husband.” “Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”
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There was a little boy and a little girl playing in a sandbox. The little boy asks the little girl if she would show him her private. She said no, but the little boy said that if she showed him hers he would show her his. The little girl agreed lifted up her dress, and the little boy looked and was pleased. Then the little boy pulled down his pants and the little girl looked. When the little boy went…
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Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. “HEY!” Alex shouted, “what do you think you’re doing?” “I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV,” she replied. “You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!”…
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There were three students in a classroom. A white boy, a black boy, and a Mexican boy. The teacher said, “Now, everybody make a sentence using the words chees and liver.” The white boy went first and said, “Last night for dinner I ate some cheese and liver.” Then the black boy said, “My brother stole some cheese and got shot in the liver.” Last, the Mexican boy said, “Cheese me sister so liver alone.”
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